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please, help me.
okay well this will be an outcome of two total situations in which i need help of.
firstoff: i have a boyfriend of 9 months, and he is completely utterly in deep love with me. [ im 14 hes going on 16.] he always calls me and wants to be with me, and he always tells me how he cant live without me, and would never want us to break up. how we're perfect for eachother, and how we are the ideal couple. how perfect i am [which im seriously not]and even how he wants to marry me soon, and live together forever. well, my dilema is that he like is obsessed, and he gets mad / jealous and stuff when another guy talks to me because he is so insecure about himself. i feel like ihave no space at all, and im trapped with him, and stuck with him forever. idk what to do, please help. also, its not like idont love him, because dont get me wrong ido, but he puts me through so much useless things; i mean like SO MUCH, and idk if i can take much anymore. now, i dont wanna tell him that because then he'll start interrogating me. Please Help Me With This.
Secondly: i know his best friend, and ive always been fond of him. fond meaning hes attractive, we've been cool. well i talk to him online and stuff. and i know he is / he was looking for a girlfriend. and i kinda set him up with my friend. my good friend. and they like give each other "<3" 's on their text messages and stuff. but hes like the shy and my boyfriend is completely in shock that he ever would do that. when iwas talking to him once, he said that he was looking for a girl like me, and i asked what did he mean , adn he said fun to tlak to and stuff. when my boyfriend and i , and him and my friend i mso called setting him up with went to the movies, i caught him looking at me a few tims but it could of been bad also. and when my boyfriends best friend and my friend talk to each other, and she talks about him, i get easily jealous. i mean like seriously jealous, i guess because yo ucould say i kinda like him ? but tis not like its a constant, consistant thing. its like i always think hes good looking, and i love his personailty but i still wanna be with my boyfriend sometimes. its just that if iever broke up with my boyfriend i thin id want him back since i didnt have him anymore. but then i think i want his best friend because we'd get along well. hes not that friendly lets say, and we along along really well. i know this is a confusing situation, andi hope you understand it, i just hope you dont delete it because i need serious help. thanks so much i appreciate it.
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This boy seems to care about you a lot and doesn't want to lose you over something or someone. That is why he is so attached to you and gets worried over silly little things. You really need to talk to him about this. I mean, he is your boyfriend so I'm sure he's going to sit there and listen to what you have to say. If he cares about you like he says he does, he's going to understand where you're coming from. The best thing in a relationship is honestly, without that you have nothing. So be honest and tell him what is on your mind. Explain to him that he over reacts about things and he gets jealous so easily and it really gets you mad sometimes. Tell him that you adore him and you love him so very much, but these small things really gets on your nerves. Explain to him everything, then go from there. I'm sure everything will go great, though. If he loves you, he'll understand where you're coming from and will change because he'll be scared of losing you.
I honestly think that you and your boyfriend's best friend are just really good friends. Someone you can talk to when you're having a hard day. Someone who is there to listen to whatever you have to say. It seems like you guys are just really close and have a great friendship. It's normal for someone to be jealous, even if you have a boyfriend and you're jealous over someone or something else. That is normal. Some people think they have feelings for someone, but once they dump the person they were with for someone else, they realize whom they really want to be with; the one they dumped. And sometimes that person you dumped won't wait around for you to make up your mind. They will move on and find someone else. If you're thinking about dumping your current boyfriend, you should take your time with it and think about it really hard. Think about whom you really want to be with and who you think would be the best boyfriend for you. In all honesty, I think you should keep your current boyfriend. If you talk to him about him getting jealous and such and he does change, he sounds like he'll be perfect for you. It sounds like you guys care about one another a ton, so don't let something special like that slip away. You may never be able to get that back again. Do what makes you happy and think about what you might be throwing away if you do dump him. ♥
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Firstt problem.. I know what that situation is like, I dated a guy for two years and he got extremely clingy. I can understand him getting upset when other guys talk to you, that part is pretty much normal. Some people can deal with that better than others, but I know it gets old. If you want him to back off a little, I agree, don't just tell him, it could hurt the whole relationship and he'll probably make more of it than what has to be. Try hinting it first. I know some guys aren't that great at catching on, but it's worth a shot. Try not to spend alot of time with him, sure stil do things with him and talk to him, but everytime he wants to do something or go somewhere, just don't. It may seem crazy, but if he realizes that you do have other things in your life, he'll be like 'ok she has things to do I'll give her some space'. If that doesn't work for you, just sit down with him and explain how you feel. Still, don't straight up tell him you feel trapped, just tell him you don't like relationships that are going like this one and you want to fix it before things are too late, and to do that you need a little breathing room.
2nd prob.. You probably hear/have heard the saying 'You always want what you can't have'. The whole time I was reading what you said that's what went through my head. Let's start with your boyfriend. You need to decide on your feelings for sure with him, because if you don't like him like you think or say to him, it's pretty much leading him on and you're only gonna hurt him. You said you wanna be with him 'sometimes' and you would probably want him back.. Maybe you like him only because he's the kind of guy you have to just say you have a boyfriend. Now for his friend, did you even notice these things [[ him looking at you etc.]] before he was with your friend? cus again that's where the wanting what you can't have comes in. Maybe your mind just thinks you like this boy because he's your boyfriend's friend, and pretty much your friends boyfriend. He's just there. Honestly if I were you, I would decide if I wanted to be with my boyfriend or not first. If you decide not to, move on. Don't date his friend, it's too wrong in alot of ways. For one it's usually not okay to date your ex's friends, or YOUR friend's ex, and just so happens that guy's both. Sorry if any of that was confusing or anything..If you need anything else you know where to find me!
Good luck with both probs!
=] Evy
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OK. About the boyfriend. I know you don't want to say anything to him but you might have to. I know exactly what you are talking about. You love the guy but he is smothering you. It ends a lot of relationships because it can get to be just to much.
You are going to have to talk to him and explain what you are feeling. If you can't or don't want to
talk about it because you fear interrogation...write it all down and have him read it. That way you get your say without being interrupted. You won't forget to mention anything and you can tell him how you feel and still have time to think out what you want to say. Reassure him you want to stay together.
Also make sure he understands that if changes aren't made you may not be able to take it much longer.
As far as his friend goes...he might like you. It sounds as if he might. Problem is will he risk losing his friend by going out with you? If you guys got together it might be something you couldn't pursue right away because of hurt feeling on your friends parts.
If you really like him then I see no reason you can't be good friends. Get to know each other better. If things don't work out with the current boyfriend then maybe in the future you will get together. You have to be careful that you aren't being attracted to him because there are problems in the relationship you are in now. That can always make someone else look more appealing.
So, if you think there is a chance with the current boyfriend, see if he can change. If he
doesn't then you might see what happens.
I hope that didn't just confuse you more! I wish you good luck with whatever you do. If you need more help come on back. The door is always open. :)
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Guys can get really attached and worried about the stupidest things, but to him it's not stupid. He just really cares about you and doesn't want anyone to have you but himself. He's your boyfriend and you guys seem to really care about each other a lot so that's exactly why you need to talk to him about this. Sure he might get mad and upset but you need to tell him how you feel. It's only making you feel worse and in relationship, honesty is really important. You know that he gets jelous and mad only because he cares about you, but he needs to understand that sometimes he can over react. I'm sure he'll understand. If he does get mad don't take it personally. If he loves you as much as he says, he should be able to change a little bit about him.
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I understand what you're saying and it is defenetlly a hard situation to be in. Look, you need to do what makes you happy. I know you might have some doubts about your relationship and who you want to be with, but don't rush anything. Don't make yourself chose someone. Take your time and think this over. I honestly think that you and your boyfriend's friend are just really good friends and sometimes people think they might have feelings for them. If you're positive that you like him then maybe take a break with your boyfriend. Just because you guys get along doesn't mean it's worth going out with him. You need to find other positive things that are about him. Think to yourself. Who do you want to be with and who you like spending most of your time with. Being jelous is completly normal. Every person goes through it and don't feel guilty about anything. Just take things slow and see what happens and do what makes you happy.
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