|
what am I supposed to do about my cousins?......after Grandm
Dear Advicenators,
SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi, please can you help. My Grandma died about 4+ years back and I am finding it difficult to know how I could should cope with this.This is my problem:
I have two cousins who live in Germany(my only cousins), oand they used to fly over to England each
year and stay at my Grandma's house for a few weeks during the holidays. I used to see them
then. Grandma was the one thing connecting us. However since Grandma's died I don't
know what to do about them. I haven't been in contact with them properly since my
Grandma died.they can't stay over here in England anymore because my mum doesn't
like them...so won't let them stay over with us. they have only over to England once for
two days since Grandma died(they had to stay in a local B&B).
What should i do about them? what is the right thing to do? what is expected of me and
what would Grandma have wanted? should i keep in touch? if so then how? also i am
worried because I was having problems coping at shool (I refused to go on-and-off for my
first two years in high school as i didn't want to move on after the death of Grandma and
also could not deal with the death of someone else of whom i was close to and sort of lost
control of my life a bit...then i ended up refusing to go to school altogether at the end of
my second year and ended up with 5 measly hours of home tuition per week forthe last
three years which should have been spent in school. I them failed all my GCSEs apart
from getting a D/C in English. I know i made a terrible mistake and i can't believe what I've
done but at the time I wasn't thinking logically about what i was doing as i was in a state
of severe depression.)and if i contact my cousins again they're going to ask about what i'm
studying and I'll have to explain why I'm on a low level college course.I feel like i can't
contact them because how on earth can i explain how I failed all my GCSEs and wouldn't
go to school. They're going to think I'm a bad person. and i cannot conceal it from them as
they are really well educated and will notice the huge gaps in my knowledge just by
talking to me. What should i do about this? I feel so ashamed of refusing to go to school. And KNOW that they will think VERY badly of me once they've found out what I did.I son't think I can bear to face them ever again. PLEASE PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!
I am from England
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
We all had our embarassing moments that's just how it is,at least one big mistake in our lives,one of the good things is that we regret them to say I won't make the same mistake again,I'm sure your grandma would of wanted you to still be in contact with your cousins,you should they are your family members,shouldn't be treated like they aren't worth it at all,tell your mom to let go of the dislike she has for them it's just going to build up more anger which isn't good at all,you don't have to tell them about your GSCEs not yet whenever you're ready but then again you decide for what is best for you,they should understand you if you choose to tell them if they are nice reasonable cousins,and that loss of one love one can affect our lives in a big way like our view of life.Take your time and think about it very well.
]
Just explain to them that your school kinda went downhill after your grandma died because you took it really hard, and you were depressed and you needed to deal with things so your schooling suffered a bit.
If they think you are a bad person because of that, so be it. You arent a bad person though. People deal with death in different ways, and this way is pretty common.
If you really dont like it, you can always upgrade cant you? I dont know the whole schooling thing for England but here in Canada, we can go back and upgrade so we can get into a higher up college.
Just stick with your education, you cant go anywhere in life without an education anymore. So unless you want to wash floors for the rest of your life, keep up with your education and dont give up :)
As for the staying in touch thing-- its probably hard that your grandma isnt here anymore to keep you connected, but you can always phone or email them. Maybe they can fly out and stay at a different relatives place? Or maybe you can save up and fly out there and see them?
Good luck with everything.
]
More Questions: |