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Trashing friends
I have two friends that dont really like each other. The one is my best friend and the one is my second best friend. Lately I have realized I have a tendency to sort of "talk trash" on one friend when I'm with the other one. I dont really mean to do it, and it isnt anything extremely big, but it just comes natural like if something is bugging me about one I come to the other to vent, and then I realize "oh crap" later. And I'm not talking major trash just little things. But even that feels like I'm stabbing the other in the back. I feel like I do this because I am so close with each that I feel like I can talk about anything with each of them, but then I feel terrible after I realize what I've done! How can I stop this nasty habit!?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Whenever your one friend begins to trash on the other, just keep your mouth shut, don't comment or anything and just let her vent. And when she's done, start talking about something else. Or just be honest. Just be like,"_____, I really don't feel comfortable with you trash-talking about _____ because you know she's my best friend too. Just like if she ever were to trash-talk you, I would tell her the same exact thing." And if you feel the urge to let out, talk to your parents or just write it out. Sometimes whenever I get mad at someone, I just open up my word documents and pretend I'm telling it to someone and lashing everything I'm feeling out. And then right afterwards, I delete it, so it's never read, never said. I hope I helped. <3
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Remember that you don't have to say anything just because one of your friends is talking about the other. For example, if one friend is talking about the other friend, don't say anything or comment on anything. Try to change the subject; say something like "i don't feel comfortable talking about her because she's one of my friends so can we just change the subject?" It would be very bad if someone told your friends that you talked about them, so try to stop this habit as soon as possible. Just remember that they are your best friends and try to focus on all of the positive things about them, not the negative. =)
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The best thing you can do is to tell friend #1 that you don't want to talk about friends #2 when you guys are together. Same thing with the other one too. That way, you won't be tempted to join in on the bashing.
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