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since when is it a crime to be single?
I am a 28/f and very independant. I work and live on my own in an appartment. I have been single for about 5 years. I have a lot of interests and friends and I'm close to my family which keeps me busy. The problem is that some of my friends who are in relationships have been trying to set me up with guys. It bothers me because they say things like "we need to find you a man". One of my friends just started dating her bf and now is trying to set me up with his roomate. I'm not interested because they said he he's yoan me by about 6 years and is unemployed. Another friend of mine tried setting me up with a 22 year old. It was very awkward because he really liked me and I did not. How can I tell my friends in a nice way that I would like to meet a GROWN mature man on my own without them always trying to set me up? And since when is it a crime to be single? I quite enjoy it because my friends who are in relationships are always complaining about them.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I was happy dating several men as a single woman until I met my now husband of over 12 years through friends. Yes, they ruined my dating life, but I met the man I wanted to marry! You never know where love will find you, and just when you scold your friends into never setting you up again, you could be cheating yourself out of a potential winner. You do want to meet a good man, right? Then, you and your friends can have something to complain about together!
Just kidding, but the reason for the set-ups are not to invalidate your singlehood or independence. Don't take it personally when the results are not pretty, it was the thought that counted. The hardest part is probably being specific in telling your friends exactly who you might be interested in, because they may not believe you even if you could figure it out. The reason is (as many of your coupled up friends found out) because love is so irrational and unpredictable. Sometimes we fall head over heals for the opposite or a stranger version of the ideal we thought we had. Maybe you are a very put together person, but the guy you will fall for can't match his socks to save his life.
When your friends say, "We need to find you a man," they are being honest about their own feelings and needs. It is about their desires to be the ones to bring you the gift of a lifetime and have a part in the magic. You don't need to defend your being a whole person and successful without a man. Your friends already love you for who you are...but you know that when you are in different stages of life you have different things in common with people who share your experiences. Just wait until they all start having kids!
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I agree with you. Next time, say "thanks, but I'm not interested. I think I'm doing fine on my own". No more explaination is needed or owed to them. I hate to see woman who think that something is missing from their lives if they don't have a man to validate them. Good for you, be their example!
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There might not be a polite way of letting them know that. I would go for something along the lines of: Listen, I really appreciate what you are doing for me, but I don't want to trouble you and would much rather find a guy on my own. You can say that you would want to do it on your own even if you don't plan to.
It's not a crime to be single. Most would say that being single is a bad sign; I disagree with that. You are not tied down to another person; you have one less person to worry about; you don't have to let somebody else where you go where you are who you are with and when you'll be back, etc. You are much more free to do as you please than if you were in a relationship. So don't let whatever they say get to you, and if they keep trying to find you guys then just let them down easy and ask them not to, that you would rather do it yourself. Hope that helped and good luck.
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Just tell them what you just said. Just be like,"Look guys, I really appreciate you guys trying to set me up with guys, I really do, but I like being single. And if I ever DO want to find a guy, I sort of would like to be able to find him on my own. I'm not trying to be mean here, but I'm just trying to be honest with you all." And I'm sure they'll understand. I hope I helped.
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