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Friendship fading away?
I have this best friend I've known for 6 years now. She has been with her boyfriend for over a year now and sometimes I start to think I am becoming less important to her since her boyfriend came in the picture.
I tried to tell her how happy I am of her and her boyfriend but sometimes i feel left out of most things her and I used to do. Sometimes I feel like I'm the one crawling to her cause it's ALWAYS me asking her to come over to hang out or to go to the mall.
What bugs me the most is that when she's over my house to spend the night, she's talking to her boyfriend 9 pm til 2 in the morning. I've noticed that whenever I tried to make plans with her she pretty much says "Oh, I can't do anything today" then the next hour later, she's off at the mall with her boyfriend.
I don't mean to sound jealous at all, though I do get easily jealous but since I've started a new school year and a totaly different school, I don't want to get jealous of the stupidest things anymore.
I've also noticed that she's a totaly different person when she's around her boyfriend compared to me. When she's with me she's all crazy and wild and herself, but whenever we're (her boyfriend, her and I) are at the mall, her boyfriend would crack a joke about something and she'll end up laughing at me.
Another thing is that she tells her boyfriend EVERYTHING. I even have to tell her that I don't want anyone knowing in order to keep something between her and I private. I don't mean to sound rude or dis-respectful but I think her boyfriend should give her some space sometimes, he calls every minute when she's over my house and she tells him what we're doing, where we're going, blah, blah, blah.
Whenever I mention to her about "She pays more attention to her boyfriend than her other friends" and that "She never hangs out with me or other friends as often anymore" it's weird cause whenever I mention those things THEN that's where she'll start making plans.
Ah, I don't know what to do. It seems like she could care less about what I think of this whole thing, she wouldn't understand, trust me I tried telling her couple of times, she thinks it's no biggie.
It seems like she's kicking me out of the picture.
My closet friend is now someone I knew for 2 years and My friend who has the boyfriend I've known for 6 years.
What do you think I should do about this?
My friends told me I should talk to her about her forgetting about me and barely ever inviting me to places anymore. But I've tried that already.
I'm terribly sorry that this is extremely long but it's been bothering me for the past week.
Thanks bunches :)
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Dear you,
I have had the same problem. My friend got a boyfriend and all of a sudden, we never talked any more. Ever night in bed I thought about all the mean stuff she did to me. Here is what I did. I just stopped talking to her. I totally ignored her. It took her about one day to relize that I was really mad at her. She tried to talk to me but I blew her off. After about 3 days of this, I went to talk to her. I told her that what she was feeling when I was mad at her was what I was feeling when she would blow me off for her boyfriend. She ended up understanding and her and I sat down and mad plans in the future to hang out, that way she could make plans with her boyfriend and not have to tell me that she couldn't hang out with me.
Hope that helps,
Cherryfizzle
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I think that you should talk to her and tell her wats been in your mind.
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I agree with the girl below. Try talking to the boyfriend about this situation. Just let him know you're not trying to make them spend less time together or anything, and you're really happy that they are together and all, it's just she's been your best friend for so long and you two hardly get to hang out anymore. So just ask him if maybe whenever they do get to hang out, he just call a couple times for a little bit. Maybe even try becoming better friends with her boyfriend so you guys could all possibly hang out together so everyone gets to hang with who they want to hang with. :]
And if that doesn't work, I also agree that you should let go for a little bit, and see what happens. She should start to realize after ahwile that your friendship is slipping, and hopefully she'll come back and try to fix the friendship. But if she doesn't, I just might want to move on from her, because then she must obviously find her boyfriend more important then her longer friendships. I hope I helped. <3
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my bestfriend did that to me!! grrr...well, what I did was for a year i tried to save our friendship by making her aware of how i felt we weren't as close anymore, but she didn't really listen. her boyfriend was another really close friend of mine, so i spoke to him about it, and he understood what i meant. so he talked to her for me too, but she still couldn't digest it or something. I felt like i was in a one way friendship. so i let it go for a while, couple of months, and in a couple of months she says to me "our friendship isn't as close as it used to be is it?".
You've got to let your friend figure it out for herself, even if that means 'letting go' (so to speak) for a little while. if it still doesnt work remember that everything happens for a reason.
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