My husband has planned our summer vacation every year since we have been together. With the exception of last year, we traveled out of state to my nephew's wedding. (He now says that was my turn at planning)
Usually we do things that I am not interested in, but I go along with it because I want the kids to have fun. At the beginning of this year he agreed I should plan the vacation. I planned on a fishing/boating trip. He agreed at the time, but has now changed his mind. He told our 12/yr old son (the older kids aren't going) we will go to World's of Fun and a baseball game. (without consulting me) I don't like the rides, and I don't like baseball. He won't take the boat due to gas prices, and besides we have the Missouri River out our back-door. I tried to work out a compromise, but he won't budge. I told them to go without me and I will find something else to do here.
He says now, thanks to me the vacation is cancelled, because he refuses to go without me.
NeedAdvice21 answered Tuesday July 18 2006, 8:32 pm: what you should do is talk to your husband and tell him how you feel about it. the two of you should work it out and do something you both would enjoy together. when you make a disicion, you should tell your son about it. i hope i helped.
~adriana♥ [ NeedAdvice21's advice column | Ask NeedAdvice21 A Question ]
J.P answered Monday July 17 2006, 3:20 pm: I think you should have a family meeting and you should all talk and maybe have everyone write on a piece of paper what they would like to do for vacation and have a vote, and talk to your husband about what he is doing and say that we should all do something that we all like to do. [ J.P's advice column | Ask J.P A Question ]
Imperialistic answered Monday July 17 2006, 7:17 am: Ok sit down, take a deep breath and then go talk to your husband. Tell him that he hurt your feelings and that you wish you would have discussed his plans with you beforehand.
Secondly, get together and plan an entire new trip not involving boating or baseball (look at [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) for ideas) and get started on that.
Then agree to split up the planning of the next few vacations or agree to plan them together and not tell the kids until the final plan is confirmed.
Remember to tell him that you don't appreciate him talking for you to the children and ask him not to do it again. [ Imperialistic's advice column | Ask Imperialistic A Question ]
Blade answered Monday July 17 2006, 5:54 am: ask your son what HE would rather do, putting your plans and your husbands plans and feelings aside. take it from there. I might consider counceling with your husband if this isnt the first time something like this has happened. counceling is a good thing for a marriage wether or not something serious is happening or wether or not there is a problem. his reaction about the family vacation being canceled and refusing to go without you is understandable but a little extreme. is this vacation about him? about the two of you? or is it for your son? sit down and talk with him and hopefully you guys can get to the root of his unwillingness to compromis and settle it to a common ground.
(this is a very familiar, situation in my household as well as many others that I am aware of, so if you feel alone on this just remember your not)
kristen22 answered Monday July 17 2006, 5:17 am: So basically his whole attitude is my way or no way huh. That was wrong of him to up and change the plans without even talking to you or thinking about the fact that you dont even like the things he wants to do. Tell him hey Me and "max" are thinking about going ahead and planning the whole fishing thing. I want ya' to go. Maybe think about going to a camp grounds? Complete with swimming, camping, grilling out, fishing and boating. Most camp grounds provide boats so you wouldnt have to worry about that and I dont think there's a man out there that would say no to camping, grilling, fishing and boating? It's not even that expensive like $30.00 a night where I live (North Carolina). Sounds like a good suggestion to me to bring up to him. Hope I helped?
P.S. As far as him saying the Vacation is cancelled thanks to you! Tell him that's like you taking him (WITHOUT ASKING) to the makeup counter at Belks while you get a makeover. He should respect the fact that you dont have to like everyhing he does and I'm sure you have already put your foot out there to make a effort in making a vaction out of fishing and boating. Looks to me like you already went half way. [ kristen22's advice column | Ask kristen22 A Question ]
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