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Do I let my boyfriend go to a stripclub?
I dont know wat I should do. Im 15 and my boyfriend is 18 and for his friends 18th birthday he is inviting all his close friends to his party at a stripclub, and my boyfriend is invited. I first heard about this when I was on my boyfriends myspace. My boyfriend go an invite and had told another friend that he should come as well. I didnt think i should ask about it so I just kinda decided to wait to see if hed bring it up with me at least. A few days later he told me that his friends wanted him to go but he knew that I wouldnt want him to so he wasnt going. But he also told me that his friends were trying to convince him to go and just not tell me anything about it. Im glad he told me and Im even more glad that he said that he wasnt going to even if I gave him permission, but Im still a little nervous. I know he wont hook up with girls there, and I trust him but Im worried hes going to go behind my back. I heard from a friend of his that he had told them he was going. What should I do? Do i confront him? I really dont want him to go but I dont want to be unreasonable. I dont think its right if we r in a committed relationship and hes out looking at other girls... Am I overreacting?
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You're not over-reacting but letting him go is not a bad thing. The fact that he is telling you he is going is a good thing, that alone should tell you that he is mature enough to go. If you worry that he is going to do something behind your back then this is more an issue of trust than anything else.
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In my opinion, you're not overreacting. First of all I want to let you know that 18 year old boys are only concerned about sex. Seeing half naked women dance is something he WANTS to do - even if he isn't telling you this. Letting him go is just showing him he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. It's degrading to YOU as his partner. If he loves you and knows you aren't comfortable with the idea, he won't go. Most men are just egotistical pigs at this age (or any age!) and won't care about your feelings. He will probably just go and then say "sorry" a million times about it, knowing you will forgive him..
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no your not overreacting. i would act the same way. but you need to understand that since your boyfriend is older. he is going to want to do things that you wont approve of. you should tell him i am happy that you told me about this and said you werent going to go. although tell him that he can look but not touch. and for you that night you should get a bunch of your friends together. and party the night away.
good luck
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you are not overreating atall if i had a boyfriend and he even so much as thought about goin to a stripclub id slap him so hard to get him back to his sences that it would never happen...this is what you do tell him you want to hang out on the day of the birthday since he wont be going his day will be free and if he says no ask why and if he doesnt answer or doesnt want to tell you why then confront him about his friend that said your boyfriend is going to the stripclub but from what your boyfriend says it sonds like he wont go because if he was gonna go he wouldnt have told you that his friends wanted him to go without lettign you find out about it so dont worry
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Contrary to popular opinion, strip clubs are not demeaning to women and it doesn't mean your boyfriend is going to cheat on you just because he likes looking at other women. Men are visual, we like looking at other women. Women don't find the thought of men stripping that attractive and frankly, neither do I. But the bottom line is you can't stop him from going sweety. You can give him the "Do whatever you want" line, which he will interpret that to mean what you say. You and I both know what you really mean, do what I want. Let him have some fun at the strip club. Besides, it's all a moot point anyway because you gotta be 21 to get in a tity bar.
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No. Strip clubs are demeaning to women. And if he is truly your boyfriend, he should understand that strip clubs aren't okay. You're not over reacting. Don't give him an ultimateum or anything, but definately let him know that it sure would hurt you if he did go.
Add a little ps of if he's going to watch naked women for fun, you want a stack of porn up to your eyes. If he can watch naked women dance, you don't see the harm in a bunch of pictures of naked men. Even if you don't want them, it will sure open his eyes to how wrong he's being.
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