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My 2 best friends
Ok, this might be long, so yeahh..
Well I'm going to be a freshman in high school. I have 2 best friends, let's call them Marissa and Erica. I can be my complete self around them, tell them anything, etc. I'm shy when you first meet me, so I don't have that many friends, I mean I have these 2, and a few others [but it's different with the others] and that's it. It's hard for me to make new friends. But now, I feel like this friendship between me, Marissa and Erica is slowly falling apart.
Let me give you a little background here. Marissa's parents are very protective of her. She is almost a year younger than Erica and I, being born in August, me and Erica in November and December.. Anyway. 8th grade, she was hardly allowed to go anywhere, mall, movies.. she wasn't allowed to go, UNLESS a parent was there. I live close to a park, if me Marissa and Erica wanted to walk down there, she HAD to call her parents, when she got there, got back, etc. If we wanted to go to Friendly's or whatever to eat, had to call when she got there, got back, etc. When we go to HER house, we hardly go anywhere. Don't get me wrong, I love Marissa, I've known her since kindergarden. She can get annoying at times, but so can everybody. Her house can get boring, but we can do other stuff.
Now Erica.. well her parents aren't as protective, but whenever we wanted to hang out on Fridays after school or whatever.. she [sometimes, most of the time actually] couldn't, because she had to babysit her sister. Now I know that's not her fault. But over we weekends we didn't see each other because of other plans, or we just didn't call each other. See like, Marissa nevers goes online [hardly], Erica does sometimes, not as much anymore actually but once in a while and she'd usually always be on after school. My friends.. well they don't like call each other. I don't know.. it's weird. Now it's summer and we call once in a while but.. i don't know. I'll get into this soon. Also, whenever Erica wants to hang out, she'd always have to leave by 9, 9:30, whereas Marissa could stay until 10, 10:30..
But now, Erica is mad at Marissa. she's always telling me how she hates hanging out with her..like everytime she comes online and i'm talking to her we end up talking about marissa and i feel soo bad talking about her behind her back because she doesnt even know. shpuld i tell marissa what's going on or will that make things worse? ok so like on friday i think it was i went to the movies with marissa and her sister [yeah for like the first time, her parents actually didnt stay, which was a surprise] anyway. all 3 of us had hung out about a week before that, and marissa kept talking about seeing the movie. well when she mentioned the movie to erica, she was like no i don't want to see that.. well ends up marissa didnt invited erica and now she is mad. she says she always feels like she is the one left and and me and marissa always text each other, well erica always said it cost a lot of money and i didnt want to add it to her bill, she says she can text sometimes..okk well then shes saying how me and marissa always calll each other first, well like erica doesn't even TRY to call one of us. i didnt hear from her from a whole week, the first week of summer..SHE could text me or call me..right? if she really feels that way. marissa atleast i keep more in touch with. idk. i love thse girls and dont want to end our friendship but do you think whats going on is right of either of them? am I being a bad friend? i feel like im stuck in the middle. what should i do about this? im so sorry this was so long, if you read it all thanks and if u answer it, thanks again♥
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Haha that was long, but you explained it well. It seems like Erica is always busy, Marissa is always being protected and your just getting a little frustrated. It's common to be somewhat annyoed if you've known these people since kindergarden. I got caught in a position similar to yours, I would talk about the other friend really not meaning to hurt her, but it turned out when the two of my friends got back together she told her all the mean things I said. I'm not saying you should totally ignore your friend when she talks about the other but it's not a good idea. Erica seems like she has some jealousy issues, which is no reason to get mad at her and you and Marissa shouldn't gain up on her, but I think it would be a good idea for the both of you to talk with Erica. If it doesn't go smoothly than just back away, at least you said your piece and Erica would know what you think right now. Don't tell Marissa, it's not your fight, and it's not your position to say. As far as the calling, yes she could call you, but maybe she just wants a summer vacation solo for a little while, just give her some space. You can still hang out with Marissa. I hope I helped at all. And good luck. I hope your summer goes better than what it sounds. I love feedback good and bad!
Love,
Molly
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Try to talk to them... Talking usually works.
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Yup you are kind of stuck in the middle, but you should try keep on mutual ground with both of them; try and find out why Erica is having these problems with Marissa, perhaps you should try and make friends with some of Marissa and Erica's friends and start going out in 2 different groups, I know your shy but try not too, or perhaps the other friends you have start bringing them out with you guys so you're hanging out in a bigger group, Erica and Marissa might get along better that way.
Erica clearly wants more attention, she is feeling left out, so talk to her a little more and try and eliminate the cause of her grudges on Marissa.
Perhaps she doesn't like hanging out with her because you're giving Marissa more attention? or she is just jelous of your relationship with Marissa.
My advice is, give Erica a bit more attention, or invite another person into your group so that Erica can bond with them aswell. 4 is better then 3.
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