|
what do i do
14/f. sorry if this is realllyy long lol, ill try to keep it short.
ok so first off. i'm REALLY shy. like in school, everyone [well not everyone but some people who are really immature] tease me about "never talking" and this really pisses me off because just because i'm shy, quiet and well-behaved in school doesn't mean i never talk. infact at home and with my friends i'm so loud and talkative that they can't shut me up. =D but being shy is a huge problem for me that i can't overcome. anyone that i'm not really close to, i can hardly speak to. yeah if they say something to me i'll answer, but it's not like i'll go out of my way to ask them a question. and in school its the same way. so i'm gonna be a freshman. and like high school=new people. how can i overcome my shyness and open up to them so i can get more friends? because as of right now i have 2 best friends who i've know forever and i can totally be my true self around them, love em to death and can tell them anything. i also have a few other friends, not as close but i can still talk/hang out with them. i dont consider myself popular, even tho i think the cliques and everything are really stupid. this leads me into the second part of my question lol...
there's this boy i like. it'll be 2 years that i like him in july. he, unlike myself, is pretty popular. always flirting with other girls, hanging out with the guys, etc. now, this isnt one of those cases where the unpopular girl just like the popular guy because he's hot and everything and never talked to him before. i used to talk to him. he actually considered me his friend. he actually LIKED me. it all started in the summer before 7th grade.. when he actually wasnt as popular [this year he kinda changed and has been hanging out with a different group of people] anyway, he told me he liked me online and we talked. i started to like him, told him i did. in november of 7th grade, he asked me out [online and through my friend however]. and here's the turning point. i said NO. why ? well, he would've been my first real boyfriend, i'm really shy [as i said before].. you see, it was easy talking to him online, because it wasn't face to face. in school though, it was a whole different story
i dont know what happened. after i turned him down, we still talked for a while [which had to be really awkward for him] after a while though..he just lost interest in me i guess..and our conversations slowly got boring. and we didn't know what to talk about. and he hardly said anything. and i did most of the talking. it was the same in the summer before 8th grade. i became almost obsessive in a way. i was IMing him like everyday. and he would hardly say anything. then 8th grade started and i just said to myself "this isn't going anywhere" and i gave up. i seriously haven't talked to him online since like september or october.
but now, i'm going into highschool. and i really want to start talking to him again. do you think i have a chance left? i mean.. september was a long time ago. it would be really awkward iming him and i'd have no clue what to say. it would probably be like those days where he hardly say anything. "hey..hi..whats up..nm u..nothing..cool" and so on. that's what our convos were like. i dunno. would iming him again be a good idea? ughh there's like so much more to the story but it would prob. go on forever..what should i do? so sorry it was so longg!
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
i think you should definately im him! you havent talked to him in a while just be like hey, i havent talked to you in a while! and so on. just be sorta random not like in a crazy way just ask him what does he think about going into high school, try to get your friendship back up to normal like it used to be. and as far as you being shy, im the same way! i know what your going through, i went through it last year and it really isnt too horrible! true, scary at first a new school and ALOT of new people can seem overwhelming but just be open minded! you dont have to be like extremely out there just come out of your shell a little! you dont have to be over talkative you cant just jump into a major change in your personality like that, its a gradual change and over time you will be more loud and comfortable in awkward situations ex: first day of highschool. just hang with your friends, and try to meet the new people sometimes it happens without you even notice it and boom, you have alot of new friends! dont be scared and good luck!
]
ok, here goes...
the shyness thing...you get over that, its just something that highschool does to you. it brings you out of your shell. trust me, i was as shy as you could get around almost everyone. but then i stopped caring what others thought of me, and i started being ME, and people were attracted to that, because i have a lot more friends now than i ever thought i would...
the popularity thing...if you dont think about it, it isnt there. for example, while you might be intimidated by popular people, they might just have a lot of friends bcuz they are really nice. so dont be intimidated by the appearances, especially at the beginning of highschool. because believe it or not, EVERYONE is scared at the start of freshmen year, and everyone tries to ast different so they wont be rejected by others...just act yourself, and youll be fine.
With the guy, you have to act yourself, do you like him how he is now, or do you like who he used to be? if you like him how he is now, then go after it. just ask him what hes been up to since you last talked, enough time has passed that any hard feelings should be gotten over, and enough interesting stuff should have passed for him to talk about. ask him about whatever he might be interested in, sports, music, tv, whatever...the world cups a big things right now, maybe that would get him talking if he pays attention to soccer...so yeah, just tell him how you feel about everything...from experience, honesty really IS the best policy...
]
I'm just going to say one thing dear... you are SO going to get over your shyness in Highschool! =] Believe me! I used to be as shy as they come and you will grow out of it so soon darling. =] Don't sweat it!
And about the boy... IM him again! But change your routine.. he probably felt dumb because he thought you liked him and he liked you a lot and then you turned him down! Explain to him that you liked him but you were sooo shy that you didn't want to feel wierd. He'll appreciate it hon! I swear! So just talk to him about that whole situation, and maybe mentin you like him again. I hope things work out! I hope I helped!
With love,
Amanda
]
In order to start a conversation with someone, learn something about them first. I mean what kind of activities they are into or sports, or what types of movies they like and so on. Do a little research on that topic learn about it, or if it is something you already like that's even better. Next time you are around that person ask them a question about that topic just to get the ball rolling. If you make a guy feel important, they like that. It's much more interesting than small talk--like about the weather or what they did in school that day.
Remember, even though you think someone might be too popular, they aren't. We all put our pants on the same way in the morning you know. Plus the people we deem as popular don't have as many people approach them first because of fear of rejection, which is what you are feeling right now. If you try to talk to this guy, or even go out with him and he turns you down, you are no worse off than you are now. So really you have nothing to lose! Go for it!
]
More Questions: |