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getting back together
My boyfriend and I (well, ex) dated for about 2 years until back in January when I started to feel that the relationship we getting to be too serious (I was only 17...now 18). We were talking one night and figured out that we started to drift because we weren't ready for such a strong relationship. We loved each other (real love, not kiddish love) but just weren't ready. So we broke up.
After the break up, I found out that he cheated on me while we started drifting. I, of course, was furious at him. Now it's been about 5 months since I found out and we've started talking again. Not only that, but we both want to get back together. Im over the cheating.
My question is, even though I do still love him and want to be with him, how do I know that it won't end up like last time? How do I know that I won't get freaked out by the seriousness of the relationship? I mean, this is a guy I want to marry someday, as in after I finish college (i'm starting in the fall), not any time soon. But then again, I don't want to loose him.
Did that make any sense? If it did to you, then I'd really like some advice because I'm so confused.
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If you love him then you have to be able to trust hima nd if you dnt apparently you dnt like him as much as you thought you did.
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hey, im sorry i must have not been focused when i first read/responded to your question. let me try again....
I think that you should go for it. you are in love, and since u want to marry this guy down the road then you should give it another chance now. you LOVE this guy and he LOVES you, go for it. you wont get freaked out by the seriousness of the relationship, if you take things one step at a timee, dont think about the marrage part, think about haveing fun and being with the guy you love. good luck!
*Jackie*
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You really have no way of telling whether or not it will end up like last time. It is all a trust thing. If you trust him not to cheat again and can really see your life with him then I think you will be all set going back with him.
If it turns out you don't want to marry him, you could always just go out with him and not marry him. I would try the realationship again and see hows its going. What do you have to lose?
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OMG!!!!!!!
I was reading this question and I was seriously so confused because it felt like I had written it! I went through pretty much the EXACT same thing with my boyfriend. We dated for two years, then I broke up with him because it got too serious and I got scared. I cheated on him once during the relationship, and about 7 months after we broke up, he was completely over it and we started talking again. Now we have been back together for the past 3 months and everything is great.
Over the 7 month period I met other guys and saw how much less they had to offer than my bf... I also got over the whole "single scene" and decided that I am now ready to settle down and stay with him forever. The only difference between my situation and yours is that I took my 7 month break with him during my sophmore year of college (last year)... and you haven't started college yet. That may make it a little harder because things do change in college... but then again, I'm in college, and although things changed a little I still decided to be with him because I love him and can see myself marrying him.
My advice to you is to decide if you are really ready to settle down with him. Can you see yourself with just one guy forever, or do you feel that you are too young? It's different with different people... I have friends who can't make it past 4 months with a guy because they think it's too serious, and I know people that have been together for 7 years and are fine with it. Do you really miss him? Were the past 5 months empty and different? Do you want him back? Does he make you happy? If yes, then go ahead and get back together with him and don't stress too much. Time ties together everything that is meant to be! :)
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