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boyfriend being a jerk
my boyfriend has been an utter jerk to me lately. i dont know what to do. i found out a bunch of lies he been holdin out on me. but i cant break up with him because hes the father of my child- i just dont know what to do with him anymore. all he wants to do is hang out with his guys while i sit at home pregnant and in a crappy mood. hes blaming his ignorance on me, and says that im becoming the type of person he doesnt want to be around anymore. what in the world can i do to let him know tha its NOT all me, and that pregnancy CAUSES YOU TO HAVE MOODSWINGS???!!! hes jsut not gtting the concept.
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I have never been pregnant, so I can't truly understand how you feel right now but I can imagine it must be a very tricky situation.
I think that really there are two different ways to look at this. From your point of view, I truly believe that he needs to be more understanding because he is using seeing his friends as a way of escaping the current situation and he can only do that for so long. Sooner or later, he will have to accept he IS going to be a Father.
That being said, I understand that hormones will be wreaking havoc with you right now and between morning sickness and finding out that none of your old clothes fit, it's a little hard to stay calm all the time. However, it might do you some good to try and relax a little bit (difficult I know with all this going on but it sounds as if you need it right now)and try to view things from a different perspective, just to work out if you really are treating him unfairly. I'm not saying what he is doing to you is right at all, so please don't think that but what I am saying is that around 'that time of the month', when PMS kicks in, there's a lot less hormonal change but we can still treat our men VERY unreasonabley (I know I do!!). Basically, you need to work out if you have been unfair to him.
I say this because you need to talk to him about the whole situation. My concern is that from the way he is walking out to go with friends rather than looking after you right now, he might not be ready for Fatherhood yet. The problem with this is that like it or not, it's coming and he needs to accept this. If he can't, however much you might not want to break up with him, you might have to for your sake and the sake of your baby. I know that might sound stupid, because after all, every baby should have a Father but in the long run, when you're having to do 3 time a night feeds and dealing with colic, you need to make sure you have someone there to support you and not someone who is going to make your life harder. You have one baby on the way, you don't need to be dealing with another.
However harsh it may sound, I think that you need to try to control your emotions a little more (I'm sorry but you might find that if you can control the mood swings, things might be easier) and he needs to grow up and realise that this baby is going to need him. So have a chat with him about it and promise you will try to work on the mood swings as long as he promises to stop going out with his friends all the time rather than dealing with his responsibilities. If he can't accept that, believe me, you will be better off with him gone because after that baby arrives, a man who behaves like that will be the last thing you will want to deal with.
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Girl! I know how you feel! I have 4 kids and the truth is that the pregnancy part is by far the worst. Men do not and will never know what it is like to be pregnant or to have a baby. The truth is that most of them don't care because they know that they don't have to experience it. Sometimes in life, people have to realize what they have but they only do that after they lose it. If you can't get through to him by talking, don't talk anymore and take action. Remember, it is a proven fact that men see more than they hear. Keep that in mind as you work this problem out.
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yeah pregnancy does cause moodswings BIG TIME, he needs to mature & grow up & be there for you, you need to talk to him about this, you need to say that you are having moodswings because of being pregant & try to make him understand on how your feeeling, & if he still his being a jerk, then i suggest dumping him.. it just wouldnt be a healthy realtionship, & if your pregnat with his child then, just involve him in the babys life & stay friends maybe.
♥ me
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Lying is never ok, no matter how "moody" you are getting toward him. He should be helping you and supporting you while you are pregnant, not treating you in this way. I bet it stems from him not being ready for all this new responsibility (the poor guy right? Meanwhile you're the one who actually has to give birth. Selfish, I know). You can't let this behavior slide, you need to let him know that you will not put up with it. This happens a lot in these situations, one person will start treating the other badly because they CAN. Like you said: "I can't break up with him", it's very manipulitive. If it were me, I would throw caution to the wind and tell him to get out until he is ready to treat you properly. Honey, if he is going to act this way, do you really want to raise a child with him...showing that child that the way he treats you is an acceptable way for a man to treat a woman?
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