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Changing friendships
Ever since I was about three I've been best friends with two people, Dan and Irene. Now we're all fourteen, Dan is moving back to Ethiopia where his dad comes from in August. Irene and I are going to miss him so much, but he acts like he doesn't care. He has all these new friends and pays hardly any attention to us. He was always a bit like that since we started high school but out of school he was always nice to us. But recently he's even started being like that out of school. He argues with us at every chance and when he's not arguing he doesn't say much. We've tried telling him that it really upsets us but he doesn't take any notice and acts embarassed of us. I really don't want him to leave when we're not getting on and I'm scared that I'll lose all the good memories I've shared with him because of all the bad ones that are happening at the moment.
I'm also terrified that if he leaves I'll lose Irene too. She's started getting into drugs and making new friends and I feel so left behind. Before Dan would always keep her feet on the ground and stop her from getting too deep into the drink/drugs scene but now he doesn't care so much and once he leaves there'll be no one to stop her. I don't want to hold her back and be posessive but I feel so left behind. I don't even want to do the drugs but I feel like I'm going to have to if I want to keep her as a friend. I don't have many friends I'm scared of meeting new people because people always think I'm a bitch.
I feel so lonely and pathetic but at the same time I feel like a bitch for being so selfish. I don't know what to do.
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As far as Dan goes, it could be hes trying to distance himself from you now so leaving won't be as hard. Then again, sometimes people just go in different directions as they get a little older. The teen years are pretty tough. Lots of changes physically and mentally.
I do think you need to try and talk to him every chance you get and see what is going on with him.
Explain to him you want to remain friends even after he goes back and that you want things to be good between you all when he goes. Hes probably at that awkward age where the other boys tease him for hanging out with girls or something. I'm sure he isn't embarrassed.
If Irene is getting into drugs real bad, being left behind isn't such a bad plan! Thats a path you really don't want to get started on. Its to hard to get back on the right one. The sad part is that nobody but can keep someone hell bent on doing drugs from doing it. You can try,and should but its mostly up to Irene.
If she is truly hanging with the wrong crowd then tell her parents and put a stop to it before it gets way out of hand. Don't play along and do drugs just to fit in. Those doing the drugs really could care less. Not because they are bad people necessarily, they are just more concerned about doing the drugs than they are with their friends. The drugs will become their
best friend after time, not you or anyone else.
Could this drug use have something to do with Dan backing off? Thats a very real possibility too. We tend to be judged by those we hang out with. Making new friends won't be hard though. A little effort and a friendly smile goes a long way.
Don't feel like a bitch either. Sometimes in this old world you have to be selfish to get where you want ot be. I'd start by going to her parents. It will be a tough thing to do but it may be the only way to save her years of trouble.
If her parents are smart, they can find a way to keep your name out of it.
Good luck to you. Let me know if I can help in any other way. Feel free to email me too if you'd like. karenrickel@gmail.com :)
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