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Can't understand where it all went wrong
My bf just broke up with me a few hours ago and I feel nothing. I really liked him, but I just feel numb. What happened was a guy added me and started telling me my bf had been saying things about me behind my back to his ex. This guy quoted snippets of the conversation with his ex and she was saying stuff like "he says he still loves me... his current gf is only ok for now, its not the same" I was really upset and didn't know what to believe. When my bf got on, I asked him about it and he got really mad, saying I didn't trust him at all and trusted this guy over him, etc. He didn't deny the guys allegations, just spent the entire time trying to figure out who it was. I got really upset and went offline for a few hours.. then came back online and told him I wanted to work things out. He said there's no chance of that and we're over, put it down to us being different people and that since I'm a senior he shouldn't be distracting me cause I want to go to college. He also said there's too many problems with us, but this is the first problem we've had in our relationship. He did later deny what the guy said, but I'm still unsure whether he was telling the truth or lying.
I just can't understand it. I told him I shouldn't have listened to the guy and I was sorry but he said we were over. He didn't want to work things out. He said that since we've been friends for years we should stay friends, but I said I can't have that because he was not willing to put the effort in to make things work with us so he didn't deserve friendship. Plus I know I'd never be able to get over him if we were friends. I said see you sometime and that was the end.
What exactly happened here? Should I chase after him and try and get him back? I have a feeling it'll sink in later. Was I in the wrong? This is the first time I've been broken up with and I just don't know what to do. I feel we broke over over a simple misunderstanding but something tells me he was just looking for an excuse to break up. I need opinions here. Thanks and sorry for the length.
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right now ur probably in shock b/c you dont know what to do. DONT run after him. you did nothing wrong you just want to know the truth and if he couldnt calmly talk it out w/ you then hes too immature to be in a relationship. you may feel sort of depressed later but trust me, you dont want this guy back because if you get back with him it will probably just get worse. dont look back or regret what happened move on your going off to college soon! focus on that and forget the loser. good luck!
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The exact fricken thing happen to me. He was looking for an excuse. You caught him talking to her and saying that stuff and he got mad and tried to turn the whole situation back on you, but you did nothing wrong. He was just trying to find a way to break up with you, and try to leave you w/ the blame. You did nothing wrong. Forget him, he can't seam to stay w/ one girl at the same time without flirting w/ another. I'm sorry, that happend to you, but your better off without him. I would not be his friend, he hasnt earned it.
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Well well. You are one of the best advice-givers I have ever read. Your own advice to yourself is great. Of course he was looking for a reason to break up, but I don't think it's the former gf. The hurt in his words can be turned in a great lesson of love (and about men) for you.
He said that you and he were "two different people" and that he didn't want to work things out. He also said he liked you as a friend, but didn't want it to be more.
Boys never say what they mean, but they sure mean what they say. He said he didn't want to be your bf any more--he meant that. He said he wanted to be your friend--he meant that too. He said you had no trust in him like a good gf should, and actually believed what other guys said about him--that's why he broke up with you.
You usually don't get a second chance with a boy unless he's deeply in love with you. Please move on.
Learn early the mistakes most girls make with boys, and you'll have more bfs on your hands than you know what to do with. Always trust them, never doubt them openly--just make sure you have a Plan B. Never bring up their former gfs, mothers, sisters or any other women in anger unless you want your bf to think about THEM. Good luck!
(PS--check out the guy who told on your former bf; he probably has a crush on you and is GLAD you guys are broken up)
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Yeah I agree with the other advice on here- sounds very much like he was looking for an excuse. If he cared about you he'd be more concerned with convincing you of the truth and being afraid of losing you than deciding it was grounds for a break-up. If he can't even gather the guts to be honest about whether or not he wants to be in the relationship he sure as hell wouldn't be much use in getting the guts to be honest about anything else in that relationship so on that note, good riddance.
I guess you'll never really know whether what the other guy said was true because it came filtered down through your ex's ex and the guy. That said unless the guy has feelings for you he's no real reason to lie and unless his ex wants him back she's no reason to either so you can hazard a guess based on that.
Anyway as I say this guy seems to be a bit of a coward who wants to break up with you in a way that puts him in the best possible light (NB- no-one genuinely breaks up with someone because they don't want to distract them from their studies. It's a total cop-out excuse). I wouldn't try to get him back- not worth it x
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The guy who told you those things was most likely telling you the truth. It sounds like this guy was looking for an excuse to break up with you, he must be too insecure to just do it and for some reasons needs to make you feel like it is somehow your fault. Don't chase after him, he just doesn't want to be with you. Don't even take it personally, especially if he is too much of a wimp to own up to this fact and break up with you like a normal and respectful human being.
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