Member Since: June 15, 2006 Answers: 2 Last Update: June 19, 2006 Visitors: 716
|
| |
My bf just broke up with me a few hours ago and I feel nothing. I really liked him, but I just feel numb. What happened was a guy added me and started telling me my bf had been saying things about me behind my back to his ex. This guy quoted snippets of the conversation with his ex and she was saying stuff like "he says he still loves me... his current gf is only ok for now, its not the same" I was really upset and didn't know what to believe. When my bf got on, I asked him about it and he got really mad, saying I didn't trust him at all and trusted this guy over him, etc. He didn't deny the guys allegations, just spent the entire time trying to figure out who it was. I got really upset and went offline for a few hours.. then came back online and told him I wanted to work things out. He said there's no chance of that and we're over, put it down to us being different people and that since I'm a senior he shouldn't be distracting me cause I want to go to college. He also said there's too many problems with us, but this is the first problem we've had in our relationship. He did later deny what the guy said, but I'm still unsure whether he was telling the truth or lying.
I just can't understand it. I told him I shouldn't have listened to the guy and I was sorry but he said we were over. He didn't want to work things out. He said that since we've been friends for years we should stay friends, but I said I can't have that because he was not willing to put the effort in to make things work with us so he didn't deserve friendship. Plus I know I'd never be able to get over him if we were friends. I said see you sometime and that was the end.
What exactly happened here? Should I chase after him and try and get him back? I have a feeling it'll sink in later. Was I in the wrong? This is the first time I've been broken up with and I just don't know what to do. I feel we broke over over a simple misunderstanding but something tells me he was just looking for an excuse to break up. I need opinions here. Thanks and sorry for the length. (link)
|
Well well. You are one of the best advice-givers I have ever read. Your own advice to yourself is great. Of course he was looking for a reason to break up, but I don't think it's the former gf. The hurt in his words can be turned in a great lesson of love (and about men) for you.
He said that you and he were "two different people" and that he didn't want to work things out. He also said he liked you as a friend, but didn't want it to be more.
Boys never say what they mean, but they sure mean what they say. He said he didn't want to be your bf any more--he meant that. He said he wanted to be your friend--he meant that too. He said you had no trust in him like a good gf should, and actually believed what other guys said about him--that's why he broke up with you.
You usually don't get a second chance with a boy unless he's deeply in love with you. Please move on.
Learn early the mistakes most girls make with boys, and you'll have more bfs on your hands than you know what to do with. Always trust them, never doubt them openly--just make sure you have a Plan B. Never bring up their former gfs, mothers, sisters or any other women in anger unless you want your bf to think about THEM. Good luck!
(PS--check out the guy who told on your former bf; he probably has a crush on you and is GLAD you guys are broken up)
|
I`m 15/f and im inlove with a 19 year old. It`s not that much of a difference but some people think it is. My parents wont let me see him because of his criminal record / past with drugs. What should I do? How can i find ways to be able to see him?
Ive never felt so special in my life and im so happy when im with him. sometimes when im in the car with my parents I start crying cause they dont understand how much i love him and they dont care.
how can i sneak around and find ways to see him please help me! (link)
|
I know what it's like to be in love at age 15--your first love is unforgettable. But let's face it, if we gave you advice on how to see your love, he might end up in jail! The law is clear--you have to be 16. I you love someone, that's not something you want to happen to them, now do you? Don't get him in trouble. You have to wait. Otherwise, he might really get locked up for a long time.....
Don't be so hard on your parents. In a way they're looking out for both of you. They're making sure he doesn't go to jail and that you get a chance to really see if he's right for you.
Believe me, time will pass, another cute one will come along (who knows this summer maybe) and -- gasp -- you're in love again! Here's hoping that a new love closer to your age comes along soon......
|
|