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my friend is really upset
my friend jim is really upset. its because his dad has lung cancer and it doesnt look too good. also his brother got hit by a car today and his leg is definitly demolished. and he saw his brother totally covered in blood and everything. some of the things he says put me in such a terrible position too. he literally says he wants to die. and i dont even know how to react.
can someone help me figure out what to say to my best friend? thank you
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Tell him you love him (or care about him, or are concerned, etc.) and that you will always be there for him.
I hate being sad. It sucks.
Many people tend to lash out at someone when they are grieving, even if that person is just trying to help. We as helpers need to realize this is just part of pain, and not really intended. Also, as being someone who has dealt with death, I can say there is hope.
My grandfather died of lung cancer. This really upset me because I didn't hardly know him, and I wish I knew him better. My dad is getting older, and I know he will eventually die, and I will HATE IT. I love my dad... But that's how life goes. However, I can take solace in that fact that I will see them again in heaven. Maybe Jim is not a Christian. Maybe his father is not a Christian. Maybe you are not a Christian. But it's at times like these when we need Christ the most. There are several members at my church who are, or have been, painfully injured, there are three that I know personally that have cancer, some of which may be terminal. They might die. But as a result of this pain, there families have gotten closer, they have made unexpected new friends, and the friends they already have have gotten closer. They are happeir now then they have ever been.
Don't give up on Jim.
There is a light at the end of this tunnel. When he lashes out, forgive him. Just try and listen, and comfort him, if you can. If you can't; that's not your fault. But be there for him if he needs you. There are worse things in life than death, and after you die, there will be better things. Maybe God is using these hard times to pull Jim closer to himself... it's hard to know.
Thanks for opening yourself to others advice, and hopefully something I've said helped in some way...
-Evan.
P.S. I am personally praying for you and Jim, and his father. Right now.
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aww.
tell him you will always be there for him no matter what.
and if he died he would be doing something painful not just to himself. but to you too.
and get him into counceling.
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Like somebody else mentioned, the three helpful professionals are good to try to get him help. Also, say things like, "Just hang on for a couple more weeks. Things have to get better sooner or later." Remind him how much you love him and how much his dreams and goals mean to him. Just make sure that he knows that people care about him. However, you should also try to bring up some funny memories and back him laugh. There is a delicate balance and it varies from person to person.
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Hi, this must be a very painful time for him. I know that if his dad does die he could have thoughts on suicide. However if you encourage him to hang in there he will get through it in time. Give him a shoulder to cry on and check up on him now and again to see how he is feeling. If hes suffering from Depression then the best people to go and see about it is a Cousellor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist. What do they do?:
Counsellor: give advice on how to handle it, and might refer him to some experts in this field of subject.
Psychologist: trained to know about different behavours and will give him proffesional advice on how to handle it.
Psychiatrist: Knows how the mind works, and could put him on anti-depressent tablets and will have a chat to him about it.
Any of these 3 are very helpful to talk to and could work together on it. My advice to you is to be there for him when he needs you the most. Im not asking you to abandon your life to help him but to just be there for him when it hurts the most, if you know what I mean. Get back to me about this one. Daniel.
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This is an extremely different situation. I think the best thing for you to do is just let your friend know that you're here for him but don't pressure him into talking about it. He will come to you when he needs to if he knows you're there. If he says he wants to dies and means it reassure him that there are a lot of ppl who love him and if he died he would be hurting other people and that it just isnt an option because you would miss him too much. Overall, just let him know you're there to talk or jsut be a crying shoulder. I hope everything works out. <3 MOrgan
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