first of all, i want to apologize for having such a long problem.
second, i am 13/f
i have this guyfriend and i used to think he was my best friend because he just understands me unlike anyone else. i have this other friend, who has a similar name to mine, in most of my classes, people confuse us CONSTANTLY. i didn't really mind it until he did it because i thought he liked me more than her.
i got my friend to ask him who his best friend that was a girl was (not to make it obvious by asking him if he liked me or her better) and he said that SHE was his best friend that's a girl!
i was extremely upset because i've been through a lot in the last two months such as losing several good friends because of extremely unnecessary fights and i've just been very sensitive and not really listening to anyone. i thought that maybe he was the only person that i could truly count on. i've been REALLY hurt these past two months, and it's like i just added to that.
also, he is definitely not her best guyfriend. but we would always talk i am just so surprised that he said that i couldnt even explain the shock. we got in a fight a few months ago but we are currently (good?) friends. to tell you the truth, i dont like any of my friends. he was the only one that i actually had real friend qualities.
he is constantly flirting and talking with her but everyone knows that he is just extremely nice to everyone so i am not sure if it's flirting or not.
thanks beyond much ♥
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Work/School Relationships? kiran answered Monday July 21 2008, 10:18 pm: Hey your still his friend. That should be good enough. It would've hurt me too if that happened. This might hurt, or not but he could like her more than a friend. You guys are really close and thats really good. You don't have to be at the top of his list. If you don't like your friends very much then maybe you should find some new ones. Your close guy friend is your friend and just because he might consider the other girl as his best friend, it doesn't matter. You guys still can be close. Don't let that get you down. [ kiran's advice column | Ask kiran A Question ]
xlovexx463 answered Monday July 21 2008, 11:48 am: I wouldn't take this too hard.
You are one of his friends whose a girl. You and him talk about stuff all the time right? Well, that should be good enough. You don't have to be his number one for you two to still be friends.
So what if he feels a little closer to your other friend? That shouldn't matter at all. He's still your good friend and the fact he didn't name you as his favorite doesn't mean anything. Maybe he secretly likes your friend (as more than a friend) and that's why he said he liked her best. I don't know though.
Regardless, I really don't think he was playing favorites. I mean seriously, this shouldn't shock you into not being his friend anymore. Just because he didn't say you were his best friend doesn't mean he doesn't like you at all. You say he "was" the only one that you actually had real friend qualities with? Guess what, he still his.
You don't have to be "best friends" with someone to be close to them. Besides, I find that the term "best friends" is overrated. What does it even mean? In the end it just causes tears if someone doesn't feel included because they're not referred to as a "best friend". Like, for instance, in your case. Therefore, don't be jealous. Be a friend to him, just like he's a friend to you. There's no reason to be mad.
I'm also sorry about the rough few months you've had. I can totally understand how that might have something to do with your jealousy. But you can't assume that just because you had problems with other friends that you're going to have problems with this guy friend. Trust me on this one because I've been there: You can't let the past ruin your future. Corny I know lol. But it's true.
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