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When a girl ask a guy the question...
Okay, why do guys ALWAYS freak out when they hear their girlfriend ask them this question: "Do you love me?" I don't see what the big issue is. It doesn't mean the end of our relationship, does it?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Laura below is dead-on.
I've had relationships and the "love" word was thrown around a bit, and it really started to freak me out.
I didn't want to feel like I was getting married to this person, I was scared that if I didn't say it back I might get dumped, and a whole bunch of other emotions.
Basically questioning if your boyfriend likes you can either scare them or just piss them off. Love is often mistaken for infatuation, and it's mostly guys that realize that more than girls, in my opinion. Maybe try talking to him about it and why he was upset. If he asks you not to ask him, then don't anymore or he might break it off with you. i know I would because that word scares me in teenage relationships.
--Jack
(16/m)
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I'm not a guy, but I think the reason they "freak" could be for various reasons including:
1. They were caught off guard.
2. It's a new relationship.
3. They don't know how to respond.
4. They don't want to say the wrong thing.
5. It's something they've never really thought about before.
-Laura. (16-f)
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Love should be freely given. It is uncomfortable to have your deepest feelings called into question and checked up on.
Love can also come with a lot of expectations. Anyone is uncomfortable saying something when they aren’t sure exactly what they are getting themselves into, and with love, you never can be sure.
It would also make you think the person who asked you, is a bit needy and manipulative. It might also make them feel distrusted.
I don't think it is just guys either. If a guy I'd be dating for a while turned to me and said "Do you love me?" I'd certainly be a bit annoyed with him. He either just demanded that I tell him I do, or put me in the awkward position of telling him I don't. It’s like a teacher demanding an answer to a question when you weren’t paying any attention… only way worse. It's not a very nice position to put a person in.
Of course, it's different for a couple who have said those three words to each other before, but even then, I wouldn't say 'Do you love me?’ That really does sound needy and demanding. Instead I'd let my partner know that I like hearing them say that and I'd like to hear it more.
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It makes some people feel insecure, especially if they aren't the settling down type. Not all guys will freak out per say though. But its also a very discouraging question. Because its basically saying you don't completely trust that they love you, which can hurt a lot. If you have told your BF this, then you should apologize and tell him your intentions. If you didn't, then don't. Its a very hurtful question to ask within a relationship. Though it may not seem like it, you could be saying more than you intend to...
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