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I have a wonderful grandmother. She is the most kind, wise person I have ever met. She has 4 children, one of which is my father. Another one is named Tary. She is unemployed. She was married and had 3 kids (2 twins and a girl). Anyways, when her husband died, Tary had nowhere to live because she and her husband did nothing. So, my grandmother offered her to live with her. Not a good idea. They completely take advantage of her and I feel so sad for her. She's a pushover, and her back has been bad for years =(. I've told my cousins (Tary's children) how lucky they are to live in my grandmother's house, and they simply said, "It isn't her house. It's our house too." Tary doesn't pay my grandmother anything for food, bills, or gas.
My grandmother is slowly getting poorer. She lives in a bad neighborhood, so she sent the 3 kids of Tary to a private school. They all failed in it, though, so they have to go to public now. Also, Tary's twin boys' birthday was a week ago. One got a cell phone, and the other got an iPod, and they're both 13! They probably didn't even say thank you. =(
My dad and his other siblings have talked to my grandmother about it and she denies it all. If I bring it up, she'll be upset. I just don't like seeing her go through this.
What do I do?
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Talking to your grandmother might not be a bad idea although it will upset her. Sometimes people need to hear the sad truth from a number of people before they can begin to believe it. Don't blame Tary though, instead focus on your grandmother saying things like "Grandma I worry about you because you have so many people to support and so little money." and "Grandma I want you to be happy and healthy and feel like supporting your grandkids is going to get you into trouble and debt."
If your dad and his siblings haven't already they might want to try and encourage your grandmother to see a financial planner or lawyer. A professional could tell her how realistic it is for her to continue to support this other family financially and the rights she has.
Itâ??s important through this whole thing (and it might take a long time to resolve) that the focus is always your grandmother not Tary. If you attack Tary your grandmother will probably take her side and might alienate herself making it even harder for her to stand up to Tary. So let Tary throw any tempertantrum she wants and whine about being bullied or attacked, ignore her. Encourage everyone in your family to ignore her as well and focus entirely on what is best for your grandmother.
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if your grandmother wont do anything about it, your father and his other siblings should, since it'll only do her good [as far as i can tell]. Have you tried talking to tary? If she isnt willing to listen, then your father and other aunts/uncles will have to do something about it. Even if your grandmother gets upset if you bring it up, you have to sooner or later. tell her its for her own good and that you guys are all worried about her.
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