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her sexual past
This is without a difficult situation, I have been in love with her for allmost 22 months. one night early in our relationship she told me about some her past she said she had an abortion at 17 with a guy she loved because she was not ready to bring a baby into this world at a young age..then told me she only had sex with 3 men total......for 12 months she has changed her story and has told me of so much more...at least 25.... I finaly snaped and asked her for ALL THE TRUTH now she does not want to talk about it..I cannot think of any other subject..I have assured her WE WILL GET THRU THIS..I will help her to burrie the past but she still just looks at me with sadness..if i do not know every thing i cannot love her like i need too....HELP PLEASE bounty
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Honesty and trust are the most important things in relationship. Make sure that you have both in your hands... I really want to help you, and I'll try...
I hope my study in pyschology will help this... It seems to me that she is not ready to tell you the truth... Wait and be patient until she has the guts to tell you everything about it... She's a woman after all... she has a deeper feelings inside her heart...
As long as you're ready to accept her past and everything about her, it will all be alright. Tell her that you need to know, because you need her honesty and trust. If she's hiding something really big, tell her that you can hold it no matter what. She needs someone to lead her. Just do what you must.
I really wish I've helped. Don't be sad... everything will work out just fine...
I wish you and her the best luck. Good luck.
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If she's changing the truth around, then maybe she's hiding something bigger that makes her fear what you'll think of her or she's ashamed of what's really happened in the past so she's trying to make it as small as possible.
Whatever the reason is, you can't promise her that her past will be burried and gone because the past can't be rewritten or taken back. You have to tell her that you can't continue dating her if she's not going to be up front of what really happened. At least let her know that you don't need details, you only need the things that will matter now.
You also have to assure her that you know you may not like what you hear what's happened in her past, but you can and will have to deal with it. And hopefully you will and if it does bother you too much what's happened with her, then do her and yourself the favor by calling things off.
Another option is that she may not be ready to be with another person again. Maybe she needs some counseling because of the abortion. You should try asking her if she's sure that she's even ready to be with someone new.
Trust is a huge key in a good relationship. And you won't be able to keep your relationship stable with this girl without the trust. And you are aware of that. To me, it seems like this girl needs therapy to deal with her bad past and learn to create a good future for herself because she might hate herself for this bad past and things could get worse for her. But just because she might go into therapy, it doesn't mean that you can't be there to support her.
-TheTeenGirl
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