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The Box!
I have a box inside of me...It's like a place where I put away all of my feelings. When ever I'm sad, mad, depressed of simply angry I put them away, swollow them. I say I put them in my "box" I have inside of me. And then I bring out the fake smile. My friends are always sying how amazing I am for always being happy and smilingbut the truth is that I am so depressed I don't know what to do. I cry my self to slepp. I put other peoples happiness infront of mine. When ever I'm alone I either cry or listen to angry or sad music. But when ever someone is in my presence I swollow my sorrow and smile and say everything is okay.
You know like when a friend asks you "hey, what's up, how are ya?" I always reply with my standard answer "I'm fine, all good, you?" But when I actually want to start crying and screaming. Here is my confession, I have never screamed at anyoby before. And I have been hurt SO many times. I let people stomp all over me. And I stil talk to them the next day. I can't scream, I can't get mad even thogh I'm screaming for help and sorrow inside of me!
What can I do in a situation like this?? Is there anything to do?
People don't like sad people. My friends like me when I'm happy and if I would show how I really feel....dear god! I would be one of the most depressing people they will ever know! There is soo much I haven't told them on what I have been trough...I don't want to to it either...I don't want to make them sad. As I said, I put my happiness infront of mine.
HELP!!!
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I, too, used to be like that. My advice is probably going to be really short, but trust me, it works.
What I did was talk to my best friend 2 (don't ask about the 2) and told her everything that was wrong. I mean she really helped me/helps me get through everything, and I, in return, do the same for her. However, I suggest talking when you two are alone but then when you are with your other friends, still be the happy go lucky person. Life's just more fun that way!
Oh but also, if somebody did something to hurt you, talk to that person. If you don't, it will never get resolved and you will just be walking around full of open wounds.
Hope I helped!
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Wow, it might sound strange but reading this has made me feel alot better because that is exactly how i used to feel, i was so depressed but never told anyone my feelings and my mates always said "Oh, your always so happy and smiley" when really i would be feeling depressed and would have so many other thoughts on my mind.
I suppose im still like it a bit, in the fact that i dont tell anyone my feelings, but im not depressed anymore.
By not tellling anyone your feelings, your locking everything away inside you, all those horrible feelings, thoughts and worries are locked away inside you, meaning you are constantly thinking about them. The best thing to do is tell your mates, paents etc. your problems, but i know that you are not gonna do that, and i totally understand why, like i said, i dont tell anyone my feelings either.
Well, advicenators is a great place to start, whenever you have a problem that is making you depressed you can ask about it on here, it will help, because you will be telling people about your worries and fears, and are likely to get an answer that will help you solve them.
But, what I think is the best idea, is to keep a livejournal. Just log on www.livejournal.com to get one. I have one, and some of my friends read it, when i was depressed i would write how i felt in my diary, but i would try to make it sort of funny, but at the same time showing that i was upset and angry. My friends read it and it really helped me get through everything, because I knew that they knew how i really felt.
Once, i even wrote a really deep entry, no funniness in it at all, i know that my friends read it, and it feels good to have let them know how i really feel, my worries and my fears ... etc.
If your friends really respect you then they shouldnt turn against you just because they find out that you are feeling a bit depressed at the moment.
If letting your friends read an online diary seems to scary a thought to you, then still make one, because other members of the puclic who own livejournals will be able to read it, and you may even find someone who feels like you, so you can read their diary and talk about your feelings, you know, sort of get through it together.
When you're with your friends, still be smiley, but try to talk to them about little problems you have, so they can get to know the real you. IBut whatever you do, dont tell them really big problems and go around all sad and grumpy, just because i have told you to friends in on your feelings, walking around all sad will just make you feel sorry for yourself and you will end up being more depressed.
So, start a livejournal and tell your mates some problems, and although it may take some time, you will stop feeling depressed.
Remember, the key to solving this problem is to tell people about how you feel, whether its through writing in a livejournal, using advicenators or telling a freind your fears, it will all help.
Hope i helped, xxx
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