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best friend, other best friend, hating - loving. BEING A RET
PLEASE READ. need adive now. =DD
background info:13.f -- alright so i have a really good best friend who ive known since kindergarten. (amanda) she considers all the people who sit at our lunch table to be her 'best friends'. but they're all quite annoyed by her. We had a chat about her, and she never gets invited anywhere, and while i admit that i was part of those things -- i hated it. so my other best friend was having a 'party' this weekend, and amanda figured, "oh ill be invited," and when she wasnt she asked me if my other best friend still liked her.
& what was i supposed to do? If someone didnt like me id want to know. so, i told her. and she got really upset and started to cry. and she decided to corner my other best friend and ask about everything. I asked her to say i hadn't told her -- but she did.
So my other best friend did what she always does, and denied everything, the chat, parties, behind back talking -- everything. And amanda being who she is, forgave her without even an explanation.
I got back from school that day and signed online and my other best friend was reall p/oed. she kept yelling, 'ew' at me. and saying things like, 'you screwed yourself over more than you did me' and then stated she didnt want to be my friend anymore. So tell, me -- how am i screwing her over by telling someone SHE DOESNT LIKE, thats she doesnt like her?
Being in seventh grade, theres drama. its funny how many people hate my other best friend. You love her or you hate her.and up till this point, id pretty much been her follower. and then she jujst makes everything more confusing by putting amanda on her away message. why would she do that if she hates her? trust me, she hates her.
and during the im conversation, i said i was sorry a million times. because i hate getting into fights especially with this one friend. she freaked out even more. and was being quite a bitch. so of course, things work out really crappy. shes not mad at amanda, but now she says im not even her friend. i didnt go to lunch yesterday becuase i had no place to sit, so i stood out by my locker the whole time. Its almost my birthday and it'd be a sucky present to lose who ive considered one of my best friends.
Help? adive -- opinions? please. ill rate 5s for any help if you bothered reading this thing. xx
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well..i can actually relate to this problem because i'm in 7th grade and it's happened to me..so many times. it's ok that you told amanda that your best friend doesn't like her. it's not your fault that your best friend isn't your friend anymore. it wasn't right for your best friend to lie to her. and it wasn't right for amanda to tell your best friend that you told her when you asked her to tell her. just give them some space and things will just go back to normal. or just try talking to amanda or your other best friend about it. hope i helped! bye!
.christina*
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Tell her your sorry.
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Sometimes when we tell on others, we get the blame. Have you ever heard "Don't shoot the messenger"? Meaning--the messenger gets blamed for bringing the bad news. In a situation like yours it was not the right thing to tell Amanda anything negative. The other friend is obviously a trouble maker..and probably knew that you would tell. I would say she is not a friend that can be counted on, so I would either say "I don't want to hear it" when she speaks badly about someone else, or say "don't put me in the middle again"
My advice would be to try to make ammends with Amanda, even though she is picked on..she sounds like a much nicer person. Don't worry about the other girl, if she wants to be friends too, she will have to do the apologizing.
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In my opinion, you were right to tell Amanda. If someone who was claiming to be my friend hated me, I sure as hell would want to know. The only reason why you shouldn't have told Amanda was if the other friend had a good reason not to tell her yet. For example, she was trying to ignore Amanda and not start problems because she didn't want a big fight happening within your group of friends. However, that is not what happened. Therefore, you were right in telling.
A similar thing has happened to me recently. A friend of mine that I used to be quite close with, whom I'll call Jill, started changing. She began to talk about many of her close friends behind their backs and secretly hated some of them. Still, she pretended to be nice to them to their face. I started to resent her because of this. She has been pretending to be friends with my closest friend, whom I'll call Nora, for a while. I didn't tell her for reasons of my own, but one day it came up in a conversation. So I told her about everything Jill had been saying. Even though if Jill finds out it was me she'd be pissed and I'd probably lose the few people I actually like, it still would be worth it. I have no regrets about the situation.
Truth be told, you shouldn't associate yourself with "friends" that talk about other friends behind their backs. Someday, it -will- happen to you.
As for the away message thing, she probably did it so that Amanda wouldn't think that she hated her.
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hey i understand that you dont want to lose your bestfriend but is a bestfriend. bestfriends dont just through away thier relationship over something that can be worked out and if yall are really bestfriends everything will work it self out so have faith.
Jazzy**
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If i were you i'd attempt to talk to her again. Saying this time, that if she hated her what the big deal is, and ask her what she'd do if she was in your position, tell her that if someone that you considered a best friend accually hated you, how would she feel? Open her up to the reality of that. And you should consider maybe finding some new friends, ones that won't do something like that to you.
Good luck, hope all turns out well.
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Ok well try to find a new group to hang with or tell all of them how you feel and maybe cry when your telling them how you feel....
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