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Me + boyfriend + God
Didn't know whether to put this under relationships or spiruality, but here it is.
Ok, so i was with this guy for 7 months, we broke up a while back and have jsut got back together.
We're both Christians. We had a greart relationship, and I completely adore him, but one of the problems with it was the whole sex thing. We weren't having sex, we're only 15 and fully intend to save sex for marriage but apparently most guys find it harder to control than girls. We went further than we wanted to quite a few times and regretted it later. We've prayed a lot about the issue, and when we're talking rationally, we both know that less is more. We want to keep as much physical stuff as possible for later on. But that's easier to say than do. It often seemed like he wanted to keep going, and I knew we should stop. It was always me that had to say no. And after a while, it makes you feel bad, constantly having to say no to your boyfriend.
So my question is, now we're back together, ready for a new start and really want to make this relationship work, how can we help ourselves to stay in control and put God first in this area of our relationship?
Sorry it's so long, and thanks (:
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Well my answer is only my opinion, and its all about how much selfcontrol you have. You need to sit with your boyfriend, and you both need to discuss the situation. Pray about it.
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I respect what you are attempting to do. It is very difficult, but it is possible to save sex for marriage.
Here's something that might help:
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Let him know that your morals haven't changed about being physically intimate and that you want God to be your number one prioroty. If he can't respect that then it is no use to start the relationship up again because its just going to lead to the same problem. If you don't want to feel pressured about saying no then you need to make sure that he is in an agreement with your beliefs. Its one thing to be a Christian but its another thing to act in it. So if he is a Christian like he says he is then he shouldn't pressure you. I know temptation is hard so you shouldn't put yourself in a position that will make it even more challenging for you.
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You are both very young and having sex under 16 is illegal. It can be very hard to control your emotions and feelings and it takes a very strong person to pull back and say stop. If you both agree to reach a certain point in the passion and then stop neither of you should feel guilty. Although in a Christian relationship you should wait until you are married, very often it is not possible to wait. God will not think badly of you for wanting to enjoy the pleasures that he has got in store for. Talking is the best thing that both of you can do. Should your passion boil over into a full physical relationship please be prepared with a condom at the very least. Continue to remain in control if your boyfriend cannot, but don't feel bad about your morals. They are precious and can never be taken back. Once you have crossed the barrier you can never go back, but having waited it will be all the more special. If you attend Church regularly and have a lovely Minister why not approach him/her to help you stay on your chosen path. Good luck with your futures and stay strong.
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