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They all need some kind of parenting lessons
My mom has been married three times. One of her marriages I actually do believe that she might have loved the guy. This was the guy that she married before my dad. Se didn't take as much as she did from him as the others so I believe she might have had some feeling towards him.
Then comes my dad. Wonderful man. Aside from how he's a work addict and was never there. Ever. I don't know if they really loved each other, I've never asked and I really don't care. This was the sort of marriage that seemed perfect on the outside. Everyone thought they should be together because they came for the same families and such and she was 24when she first married him. During the divorce, she took everything she could--my dad is loaded with the cash. After it was over, he turned around and bought a 1.5 million dollar house and lives there with his g/f.
Now to her third marriage. I think it's the worse because he's an asshole. At least the other two were nice. He doesn't abuse her or anything but I don't like him and he doesn't like me. We argue constantly. Once I said to him "Please don't interfere with my life, the 3rd". He got really mad and took my keys to my car away...the car that my DAD BOUGHT ME. So I gave my daddy a call and had my keys back in no time.
What about my mom, you ask. Sometimes I think she is a gold digger. But I its hard to tell. I' not very fond of her though. When ever I try to talk to her about anything that’s bothering me she just says “Oh, I’m sorry you feel that way” I told her I was going to move in with my dad once and she said “Well, its your decision and your loss” Gee…thanks mom
Then my best friend's dad. Again, never around. Seems like alot of dads aren't. He'd rather just give her money than have a talk with her.
Her mom is cheating on her dad. She thinks her dad knows about it but doesn’t want to deal with a divorce.
And yet another father I know just up and left his kids and wife--he's my dad's best friend.
So does family mean nothing to people anymore? Seriously I haven’t met anyone that has parents that they’re just in love with and it really makes me question if I ever want to get married and have kids. Seems pointless to me.
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What an interesting question. It's a really good one because it's true. Everyone seems to be splitting up and getting married multiple times.
It all comes down to the person you marry and what kind of person you are in relationships. There are tons and tons of mistakes you can make in relationships and marriages that can make it come crashing down. A lot of people rush into relationships too fast, or they get married way too soon before realizing the person they actually are.
For example, If you are with someone who is a jerk to everyone around them, don't count on that person not being a jerk to you later on down the road because they will be a jerk to you. You have to be with this person enough to know what makes them upset and what they do when they are upset or else you will be in for a big surprise that isn't very pleasant.
As hard as it is to believe, there are still tons of families who actually have good morals and everyone in that family matters to each other. It takes tons of work in order to keep a family and marriage up and going in life. That's another problem that I should mention. Parents tend to make the mistake that they can just skip out on cleaning in the house and are too lazy to deal with their children's needs, wants, and emotions. They don't realize that it takes more than feeding them and being there for just their needs. You have to be there for them emotionally.
The bottom line is that likely these parents get married and they think that they'll live happily ever after with children and run out and have fun when that isn't the truth. I'm not saying that you can't have fun when you have children, I'm talking about going out with friends anytime that you want to, or just partying late. If you have children, you have big responsibilities. Plus, it is fun to have children, to watch a life you brought into the world grow up, but it's definetly not always going to be fun. The way you raise them has a huge impact on them. So if you try to be the best friend instead of the parent, you are ruining them.
I completely understand your thoughts and your feelings about this issue going on. But, I wouldn't let it stop you from being more careful and having your happiness. Just because your parents or your best friend's parents didn't have the picture perfect family and marriage, it doesn't mean that you can't learn from their mistakes and live your married life better than they did. I think that's just another special part about having parents that don't have the best marriage, you look at it and you can learn from their mistakes. Don't let the fact that so many people have screwed up in marriages stop you from having a chance to make yours right.
I hope this answered your question, and it's honestly a great one. Thank you for addressing this issue.
-TheTeenGirl
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hey! yeah i deffinitely agree with you about a lot of what you said, because let's face it, 50% marriages in the U.S. do end up in divorce. yeah, that's a HUGE number, especially compared to the percentages in other countries, where divorce is much more rare.
the first reason for this is that people are too obsessed with finding true love in our culture today. many times you hear people who have only dated for a few short months (or even worse, DAYS) talk about how IN LOVE they are. the word love has lost so much meaning because people throw it around so freely and so constantly. because people are so obsessed with finding love, they fool themselves into thinking that they ARE in love, and they end up getting married and then getting a divorce not too long after because they never truely loved the person to begin with. this is the first thing you should do to avoid ending up in a situation like that... don't become obsessed with the idea of love. it is something that takes time, and when it comes, it will hit you and it will feel like nothing you've ever felt before... it's not even something you can explain. you will know when you are truely in love, just don't rush.
another reason why divorce is so common around here is because it is SO easy to get a divorce. it's a process that is almost a joke at this point ... and unfortunately people think that it is the answer for all their problems. when you get married, you are making a commitment "for better or for worse," but as soon as a small problem comes up, people seem to forget about the "for worse" part and choose to take the easy way out and end the relationship, instead of work on their problems and resolve them. in today's material world a lot of problems usually arise because of issues over money, so remember, when any kind of problem comes up in your future relationships, just put up with them and work together with your partner to resolve them right away!
don't get discouraged, after all there are another 50% of people who do end up going about marriage the right way and end up happy for the rest of their lives. my parents have been together for almost 21 years now, so looking at them deffinitely gives me hope and reassures me that true love and a good marriage are possible. just take your time, don't rush things, and above all, learn how to deal with problems instead of avoiding them!! that should hopefully make your marriage in the future easier!! :) don't worry about it now, you will deal with it when the time comes, but you can deffinitely be a part of the 50% that made their marriage work! :)
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I agree with you, but mostly it's because they're not ready and they haven't found that person that they're happy with. I don't believe in the whole true love because my family and parents are screwed up and on the verge of getting a divorce. It all just makes it seems pointless, but I think that even though all relationships aren't and can't be perfect. You could still make an effort to do the best you can with what you've got and be faithful. If it doesn't work out, don't try to steal everything you can from them, but just let bygons be bygons and move on. Getting married and having kids is something that most girls don't want to miss out on and it's something that you remember for the rest of your life. Try it out, and if it doesn't work out, you can live a single, happy life too.
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