i have known my friend for 12 years now and we do everything together,she has recently got a boyfriend and is completely leaving me out. im always with her cos i have had trouble at school so shes my only real friend there,i feel completely alone.
Shes ok somedays but other days she will plan to meet me at lunch and then never turn up,its really upsetting me and i dont know what to do! nicole jane, 13
hev7777777 answered Wednesday April 19 2006, 3:55 pm: well, maybe you should try to tell her how you are feeling, but dont forget to let her have her feedback, and only discuss a little at a time, like days apart, and if the conversation gets a little roudy, then take a day or two away from eachother and cool off, and then discuss it when you are calm, and she'l have time to think about the issue also.
I hope that my advice has helped at least a little.
CheshireKat answered Wednesday April 19 2006, 3:41 pm: oh poor girl! if it makes you feel any better, trust me, this happens to all of us, in one way or another.
you need to confront her about it, but not in a confrontational way. tell her that it seems like she's becoming unreliable and maybe even a bit inconsiderate. i'm not saying be mean about it or matter-of-fact, say things calmly, honestly, and let your emotions of feeling (maybe?) feeling abandoned and forgotten show through.
(i don't know if this is true exactly but bear with me) while she shouldn't be letting herself become clingy and unhealthily obsessed with her "boyfriend" (no offence meant by the quotes, go read this question and my answer to it, [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)), but i think you should try to branch out and meet some other friends. i know it's hard, but you should take this as an opportunity to grow, socially and within yourself, to find confidence and a sense of identity and individualism in yourself. it's good to have friends, we all need them i think, but we all need to be able to stand on our own as well.
again, be upfront and direct and explain to your friend why this is affecting you so. be honest, tactful, and sensitive to how she feels about you and about her boyfriend, and i think you can come out of this successfully.
Lydeeuh answered Wednesday April 19 2006, 3:33 pm: if your friend is ditching you for her boyfriend you need to talk to her. just sit her down and tell her how your friendship is very important to you and it hurts you when she doesnt show up for your plans...if shes a true friend then she will realize that friends are forever and boyfriends come and go. hope that helps!
♥ Lydia [ Lydeeuh's advice column | Ask Lydeeuh A Question ]
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