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How to maintain friendship?
I have just recently started uni and for the first few weeks i actually made a lot of friends. Everything went so well and we had a lot of laugh for the first few weeks, it seems like all the friends i've made are actually my best friends. However things has gone a little bit sour afterwards, some of those friends of mine begin to talk less to me like as if i am becoming too boring for them. They begin to hang around other people who are more interesting and more funny.
These kind of things have happened to me since high school, i get along so well with people at the begining but then things get shytter later on. Is this because of something that i might have said or do? its like one day they know me well and the next they are like who are you do i know you? -_-. Or maybe i don;t share something in common with them? that they get bored of me? it hard to talk directly to them because they would just make up any lame excuses.
For some others i see their friendships build up really strong and they can actually maintain it for a very long time and they always do things together.
Why can;t i be like that? being able to maintain friendship for a long time with others and to share your good times, bad times and sad times together. i always get cut off somewhere during the line and it is really irritating.
Plz give me some advice on how to build a stronger friendship, i appreciate it.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
hey, just give them alot of space and free time with themselves and there other friends. also tell them some secrets about you and other people, but dont bring others down in the process. when people know secrets they feel "more connected" with you. also include them in EVERYTHING. cait ♥ = ].
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I can understand and relate to your issues and your worries. However, you're stressing way too much over this. You just need to calm down and take a deep breath. You know the best friendships that you can build are the ones that we really don't have to put so much effort into. That's true, it really is. Although, with any friendship you're going to have to work hard at staying and maintaining a strong relationship. BUT YOU DON'T WORK VERY AND EXTREMELY HARD. Friends that have that strong relationship usually maintain it and they don't have to work extremely hard to keep it. It's weird and it is very ironic, but you'll find that it's true. Even if they do have subtle or big differences in each others character. However, they are strong enough to work through it.
Don't try so hard to find and maintain a strong and balanced friendship. You should try and socialize with others, but you'll find a friend when you're more relaxed. And I don't mean just a friend, I mean a strong friendship. You have to be you. And they will love you regardless. Some of the things that we search so hard for tend to find us when we lessen up our search.
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I understand your problem and believe me you are not alone. Here are some tips on maintaining a friendship...
1) Give the person space, let them breathe a little bit or they may get tired of you. It's nothing against you, people just need to breathe every once and a while.
2) Don't talk yourself down like "funnier people then me" because if you say it, people will believe it. Be yourself don't feel pressure to change.
3) Spill some secrets about yourself, it will make the other person feel better about sharing their secrets with you. Once they know something personal about you a closer relationship is established. But do not rush into it too soon or the person may not be trusting enough to know your secrets.
4) Even when they start to get distant, give them some time then jump right back into the friendship again. Act like everything is normal because if you act like it's awkward, he/she will feel awkward.
5) Sleepovers are god-sent. they are a chance for one on one ontat and deep conversations. Sleepovers are the differances between good friends and best friends so invite some of them over and have a fun time!
good luck!
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People change as they get older. Some people stay best friends all their lives and some don't. You can't force someone to be friends with you, especially if you want it to be a good relationship.
If you're worried about maybe doing something wrong, try being more outgoing, more friendly, smile a lot, laugh, go places with them like parties, the mall, the movies, etc. Or if you're being TOO outgoing, control yourself a little. Maybe you don't act mature enough sometimes. Just be yourself around them, and if they don't like it then they aren't worth your time.
Believe it or not, friends come and go. But in the end you'll realize who the true ones are, and those are the ones who didn't ditch you or just stop being your friend for no reason. good luck!
♥ Evy
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