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At my wits end with my sister

Question Posted Thursday April 13 2006, 1:46 pm

Since my sister and I were about 11, she has become (over the last 10 years) more and more irrational, irresponsible and impossible to talk to.

You can't say anything to her because it always turns out in an argument. She gets almost EVERYTHING she wants and never lifts a finger to do anything. She doesn't realise how good she has it but she treats everyone like dirt, then insists that whatever latest argument they have had is all their fault.

She goes out of the house at any time she wants without telling anyone where she is going, who with or when she will be back and then just saunters back and shuts herself in her room, which she barely ever leaves.

I've tried reasoning with her and being nice, but she STILL ends up shouting at me. Mum and Dad try punishing her and she thinks they hate her. Truth is we're all so scared about the state she's in (she doesn't talk to any of us about anything)that we just don't know what to do and she won't go to counselling.

Please, if you can help at all, say something because I just don't know what to do any more.

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trina answered Thursday April 13 2006, 3:46 pm:
hi i had the same problem with my sister but only worse we shared a what i would do in your position is write a letter to the family make it respectfull but state the problem that you are all having. try to open your familys eyes on this one and your sisters sit them down at a family meating somthing like that. good luck!

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HipYaHop1213 answered Thursday April 13 2006, 3:19 pm:

well have your parents start to monetor when she goes out and where she goes and who she's with.
keep on punishing her by taking things away and grounding herbut dont send her to her room cause that seems to be her fav. place right now.

you could try to get closer to her by playing games or watching movies. once you are closer to each other she might talk to you about these type of things.

but please dont give up on her or ignore the problem. she needs you, even if it seems she couldnt care less about you.


hope i helped and keep me up to date on how its going =)

p.s. i have an 11 year old sister too
they can be tough =)

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ask-it-here answered Thursday April 13 2006, 2:55 pm:
Hi. This has more to do with her than you, but watch out. Your sister is displaying every simptom of depression. Not just any, but manic depression. The anger, the not caring, the thinking every one hates her, it's all a part of depression. I suffer from it, and have ever since I was eleven-years-old. She _must see a psychiatrist or it'll just get worse. She may have a chemical imbalance, and there is medication that can correct that. I'm on Zoloft for depression, Trileptal for mood stabalizing. But there are _tons of meds out there that can help her.
Speak to your Mum and Dad about this, because you've named pretty much every symptom. It may be more serious than selfish, spiteful, spoiled, inconsiderate behavior. She may need more help than anyone can give.
Good luck.
P.S. Trileptal is also for seizures, so don't let that throw you. It stabalizes moods wonderfully once you're on the right dose.
Check me out here and keep me informed. You can send me mail at
I'm also ask-it-here on advicenators.
Good luck again. You can call me too. My number's in my profile.
Tell your parents I also wish them luck.

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