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how to talk to shy guy
I know this ex-colleague of mine but not really that close to him. I think i have a crush on him but i dont really know if he likes me at all.
He's confident, witty and a workaholic.
However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.
So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt say word!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!
Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well except that when i asked him for lunch, he just disappeared and dint reply yes/no.,,which was kind of weird. Cos he could have said no.
I managed to obtain his cellphone and he replies all my sms except the ones on personal questions.
I called him once but he was so weird and acted like a total stranger to me.why is he like that
So how do i even talk to him tru the phone as a friend, if he's that shy since i dont see him anymore in office?
How do i get him to even talk to me like a normal friend?
Would appreciate your advice.
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Let me warn you ahead of time that this is not something I know much about. Since you dropped it in my inbox though I will share my thoughts with you anyway.
This is very tricky because this situation is really extreme. I am a very shy person, never knowing what to say around women and so on, and yet still I cant seem to relate to much of this.
First of all, I cant see how you can do anything to be able to talk to him normally through the phone. That part does not seem to be in your control, either he loosens up or he doesnt.
When I read your question first I thought he was a shy guy who was interested. As you kept writing, I am not so sure anymore. Im not saying he isnt interested, but the way he acts is a bit over the top. Is this guy "normal"? Have you seen him talk normally to other women for example?
If he is interested, and if he is that shy, I dont think you are going to get anywhere with the emails and so on. As I see it you have two options. One you can wait and try to slowly build up a friendship. Im not so fond of this option because it might take months only to realise that it wont work anyway.
Secondly theres the direct approach. How about just calling him up and asking him out to lunch in person? Make up an excuse if you have to, although I think its probably better if you play this one straight.
In the end you dont work with this guy anymore so you dont have that much to lose. If he refuses to see you then I dont think there is anything more that you can do. Then I would consider the possiblity that he isnt interested, or isnt ready for a relationship (for whatever reason).
Good luck.
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