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how to talk to this shy guy
I know this ex-colleague of mine but not really that close to him. I think i have a crush on him but i dont really know if he likes me at all.
He's confident, witty and a workaholic.
However, he gets shy/uncomfortable, when i ask him simple personal questions for eg: Do you go for swimming. I think he has a problem of talking about himself to new people or just not that friendly.
So one day, i gave him some sweets via his secretary (i didnt really know him that well at that time in office) and he was quite startled and stared at me and waited for me to say something when i bumped at him at the doorway.
He had those puppy eyes..but didnt know what to say!.
I pretended not to appear interested in him becos i was too shy.!
Later, i sent him email and was able to chat with him about work..and he responded quite well except that when i asked him for lunch, he just disappeared and dint reply yes/no.,,which was kind of weird.He could have just said no..but he dint.
I managed to obtain his cellphone and he replies all my sms except the ones on personal questions.
So how do i even talk to him tru the phone as a friend, if he's that shy?
How do i get him to even talk to me like a normal friend?
Would appreciate your advice.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It seems to me like he is afraid of close connections with other people.
You mentioned before he was a workaholic, do you think this could be a possible reason? People who work alot tend to prefer their work lives over their actual lives, and so to do this they shut out their normal lives and keep it to a minimal.
Or, he just could be one of those overly shy types. The type that literally can't speak when talking to the opposite sex on anything personal. Casual talk or talk about work or school would be something they could talk about, but anything beyond personal may make them feel uncomfortable.
Those two are the only real two reasons I can think of to explain his lack of interest at the moment. My advice to you is to ease into a conversation and bring up small personal questions, perhaps those which pertain to his work or whatnot. You can see how it goes from there and work on it after you see how far you are going with small talk. I know you've tried, but perhaps a bit of persistance would be good. Not too much, but just a bit would work.
Though, you probably should give the indication you want to be his friend (like say, he seems to be having a bad day and you see that and ask whats up? Because he looks down and your just checking up to see if he's alright). You might already be doing that, but I would keep at it. Some persistance never hurts.
I hope I helped you in atleast some way and I hope that for whatever reason he is holding out on you with your questions, that he opens up and will atleast talk to you on a more personal level.
-Ryan
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