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I want to talk to my ex...18/f
Okay, so I broke up with a guy about three months ago. The breakup went prettu well, considering, and we talked a couple of days after it, but once, we ended up fighting and he really upset me. Some things he wrote in a journal, or said, or whatever, kinda scared me.
Everyone I talked to told me to give him three months or so away from me, not to contact him for awhile, but I see him on line every so often and I want to talk to him. I'm friends with all of my exes, and I want to keep that up. I liked him as a person, not just as a boyfriend.
The thing is, he was really kind of heartbroken. I don't want to hurt him again, but I want to talk to him. I want to see if he's okay, I guess. I don't even really have anything to say to him.
Also, like a week after we broke up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend (I didn't then, but now I do), and I have a feeling he'd ask again, and I don't want to tell him, but I don't want to lie either. That's not really my question, though.
I guess I want to know what do you think I should do.
Should I go with my impulses and talk to him even though I don't really have anything to say? Or should I wait 'til he contacts me? His aim is to forget "we" ever happened, so if I do that, he won't.
Proper spelling and grammar is appreciated, thanks.
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Hey. It's cool that you want to be friends with all of your exes and like him as a person. However, you mentioned he was heartbroken. If you try to talk to him now he might get his hopes up and then have them shattered and then sort of 'hate' you and this cycle an go on and on (it's happened to me with this one guy who didn't seem to get over me). Either that or he won't want to talk to you at all or will ignore you or be kind of rude. You may have 'impulsives' to talk to him but I think you should give him his time and space. It's the best way for him to get through the break up and move on, and maybe then and only then can you guys be ver be actual friends. If he cares about you as a person when he's gotten over you 'romantically' (l.o.l.) he'll come to you to talk and hang out or whatever, but just as friends. If you see him it's okay to say hi and stuff (it'll show him that you're open to being friends with him) and if he approaches you and wants to talk, then go for it. But don't IM him (really, don't, it's very impersonal and if he wants to talk to you online he can send you a message). Well good luck and don't worry, he'll come around. Just be patient.
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I guess it all depends- were you in a serious relationship with this guy, or not?
If it was really serious, I probably wouldn't contact him- it's just putting salt in his wounds, which is cruel. Let him contact you.
If it's been over one month, and it was a not so serious relationship, you could contact him, sure. To me, it sounds like you're just trying to create drama, and make your ex jealous.
I mean, it's nice, to want to be friends with your ex and everything.. but if they're heartbroken, you should probably do everything you can to help them get over you. As in, stay out of thier lives, leave them alone, and not talk to them.
EDIT- I obviously would do that to my boyfriend, who I've been with for four years and seven months now, when we're getting engaged next year... I'm talking from my friend's experience. Sometimes, it's like you subconciously want your ex back... and that's more what it sounds like, then trying to create drama (though that is a common result). Don't take it so personally, just telling you how it sounds.
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i think that if you just give him enough time he'll be fine. as they say 'its odd how when someone breaks your heart you still love them with all the peices' you prolly just broke his heart and of course he will be jealous about this new guy. i have this thing i do after i break up with a guy i always make sure i wait about 5 months so that i can stay friends with them and give them time to be fine when i find anyother guy. just try to give him enough space. k? mkay.
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