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My BFF...sorta
srry this is long (i'll rate :)
okay so i have been best friends with this girl for like 5 years, now we are both 13 and in 7th grade, but have totally different lifestyles. My family and I are religous, her and her family aren't. Her dad and mom both have a boyfriend/girlfriend that they live with, but all of them cheat all the time (this is where religion comes in; morals). Her dad drinks and takes steriods and is really stupid, like nobody really likes him (he thinks he's all cool because his girlfriend (who he lives with) owns an awesome exotic house and because of his cowboy hats). My dad thinks her dad hasn't accomplished anything, unlike my dad. Her dad thinks that he can tell my dad what to do, or call him a p*ssy and stuff for buying groceries (her dad thinks it is not "manly" to go grocery shopping, and that if a hurricane comes, you have to "ride it out" with the whole family, including toddlers, like a "man" would do). This girl is starting to be a fake, like whatever the popular people think, she will pretend to think ,even though she told me that she has to so people won't think she's weird or get mad at her. My mom wants nothing to do with any of it. Also, something that bothers me is that when I was allowed to see her, she would always cancel. (this was a few months ago) I remember one day my dad said she was going to come over, and he came back empty handed. I thought he was tricking me, but he just said "oh, she couldn't come, she had to go do something". I found out recently, this other girl, whom i used to be best friends with about 3 years ago, had come home or something and my friend decided to go over her house. So here's my dad going to pick her up, and she's like "oh, um, i am just going to go over to Christine's". She has done that A LOT. I talked to her about her blowing me off one time, and she's like "im so sorry". But this other girl is 14 and can do WHATEVER she wants. I mean, ANYTHING whatsoever. This other girls also cries because she hasn't had sex yet. Her dad is like a weirdo, so, yeah. Anyways, i just recently talked to my friend, and she was so glad i called and said she couldn't reach me (seriously, i am not allowed to give out my cell #, but she only called my dad's phone once). I am so confused, she always says (even in front of her other friends and other people) that i am her best friend (not just one of), but she doesn't treat me like best friends would treat eachother. She has been very nice since i talked to her, but she is fake around people, and i really miss her personality, her nice, funny, kind of i-don't-care-what-you-think-i-love-acting-goofy attitude. She has admitted to only acting differently so she can fit in, or so her friends don't get mad at her (what friends would do that?). My dad doesn't want to deal with the other girl i mentioned earlier and her family, or my friend's family. He is always like, "she always wants to be around her, not you. she always cancels on you at the last minute". I really miss her, and we have had so much fun, she never used to act like this. How can I tell her without her dad giving us a bunch of bull crap and without me seeing her? What should I say? I miss her so much, and I know deep down she is still herself, and that she is a good friend. I think she is confused also (I keep telling her i have plans to avoid her, my dad said to say that just until we don't have so much stress from some big problems we are having, he doesn't want more stress from her dad or anything). I also know that people change, and i wouldn't mind that, but she is now labeled "fake" from my viewpoint, believe me, she is not just naturally changing, i am 3 million % postive.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
Don't fall apart. If you cry and beg her to tell what's wrong, you'll look like a bucket of Jell-O in July, and it will only make her feel more powerful. If she thinks she can control you, she'll do just that.
If you ever do get mad at her, do not try to get revenge by doing the same thing she's doing to you. Anger can spread and make things much worse.
Don't, I repeat, don't blame yourself.
Do make it clear that you want to be treated like her best friend. Tell her calmly that you don't like what she's doing and things will have to change for you to stay friends.
Hope you and your best friend will resolve things. Good luck!
Later!:)
♥teen13
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Well middle school is usually when people start to change [naturally or not] after a while you wont be able to figure whos fake and whos not, esp when you get to high school. I know its hard but all I can say is that you should just let the first friend who you were friends with for lik 7 years roll off your back. Shes probably talking about you behind your back anyway because I know if you`re fake, you`re probably twofaced too. Her and Christine or whatever are probably those middle-school-wannabe-sluts that our society has created. All you can really do is just be you and let TRUE friends gravitate to you and once you find them you will know. They wont blow you off or push you away or even try to change/manipulate you. If you have aim you can im me. . . (barbi bliss x)
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