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I'm very confused about who i like...
Male/16
Ok i had invited 6 of my guy friends over and we were just hanging out in my room. We got sort of bored so we decided to play truth or dare (haha i know). The dares were pretty embarrassing. Everyone had done their dare, so when it was my turn i was in no position to turn mine down. They dared me to make out with my friend Derek until the song they picked out ended. Of course the song they picked was like 4 minutes long. It was odd kissing someone of the same sex, but i kind of liked it. After about a minute we got sort of into it and he started to take of my shirt and kissing my neck. The other guys were laughing so hard. So it was finally over and around 12:00 the guys headed back home. But Derek stayed a little longer. I really wanted to kiss him again so i went for it and, it went a lot farther than i expected...
So the next day he snuck out at like 5 in the morning before my parents were awake and i went back to sleep. I woke up around 8 to head to school and as i was eating breakfast my mom pointed out the hickey i had on my neck. She was like who gave you that, because you didn't have it yesterday and i was like i have to go. So i drove to school totally embarrassed. Just my luck at lunch my gf noticed the hickey and got really pissed and asked me who did it and i didn't know what to say. So now my gf won't talk to me and my mom wants to know what happened. I am also very confused how i feel. I wasn't really attarcted to my gf, but i really did enjoy being with Derek, so does that make me gay? And Derek called and asked if i wanted to go out with him but i don't know if i should. Should i tell my mom and my gf the truth?
Thank you, sorry it was long
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i think that if you were comfortable with Derek, you may be gay. i think you should tell your mom and your girlfriend what really happened. always follow your heart. remember that.
hope it works out for the best!
kathryn
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I think that telling the entire truth is a very bad idea. You're still not sure about your sexuality and if you tell your girlfriend or even your mom the news will get around FAST. Everyone will start picking on you and calling you gay, maybe physically hurting you too. That isn't something that you want to put up with especially if you really aren't gay or bisexual. Even if you were positive that you liked guys, I would still advise against telling anyone at your age. High schoolers can be really cruel. You do however have to explain the hickey somehow. If you're okay with lying (which I would really suggest that you do) I can come up with a really good lie for you. Tell your girlfriend first. Say that you and the guys were talking and you were telling them how you really weren't that sure about your relationship with her and you were asking them for advice on what to do. You were trying to think of a way to let her down easy without hurting her because the spark wasn't there for you. Kind of cheesy, but she'll believe it. They didn't have any good ideas and when you were asleep one of the guys gave you a hickey to get you in trouble with her so that breaking up would be really easy. You woke up and it took you awhile to figure out what was going on. All the guys were standing over you laughing and joking so you don't know who did it. You were mad at them and embarassed and didn't want to tell her, but you figured that you had to. This will save you from everyone deciding that you're gay (your girlfriend won't keep it a secret no matter what she says) and it will be a good way to break up with her. Then tell your mom the same story, but make it sound more lighthearted. Like they didn't mean anything by it and it was all in good fun. If you aren't that good at lying or are against it for some reason you can give some half truths. Tell your mom first. Say that you and the guys were playing truth or dare and that one of the other guys (don't tell her his name) was dared to give you a hickey. Don't include anything about making out or liking it and that kind of stuff. Not yet. Then say how silly you were all being and that you shouldn't have let him give you a hickey. None of that is really a lie. Even though it would be better to tell your girlfriend the lie, if you're not that worried about hurting her just break up with her and don't even say anything about the hickey. After all of that is taken care of, you're going to have to do some thinking about your sexuality. Don't rush it, but it's important that you figure everything out in the next few years just for your own sanity. I hope I helped you and I wish you the very best of luck.
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Its too early to say if you are or arent gay if it happened just once (experimenting is nothing bad). You should try to go out with Derek and see how it goes and in time you shoud find out if you are gay or not (or bisexual). In your place I would not tell mom about it because as I said its to early to say how it is with you because she may start to panic (maybe I would have told it to my gf but only if she is reliable). Well anyhow I wish you best luck in the future.
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Hmm. You could possibly be gay or bisexual. I suggest first talk to your mom about what happened. Ask her what she thinks about this too, to get a moms point of view. If you feel, that you should tell your girlfriend the truth then go for it, unless you want to keep this a secret, are you sure you could trust her with what happened? If you think you have a connection with Derek, and are ready to go out with a guy, then go for it. Good Luck. Hope I helped.
-Brina
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i don't think that it makes you gay but maybe bi. you should probably tell your girlfriend...i don't know how exactly she will take it though. you should probably start out with telling about the dare and see how she handles that first before going on. i would wait to tell your mom until you are should how you feel.
and i know a lot of bi people you date a guy and a girl at the same time if you really want to be with your gf and with derek.
hope i helped....good luck!
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I think breaking up with your girlfriend might be one thing you should probably do.. Not because you made out with your friend but because you said your not attracted to her..I mean i know i`d be hurt..Honestly,I don`t think your gay yeah you might be and it even might be a difiant thing but teens experiment alot.. You might think later i like girls or whatever..You might even be Bisexual..
I think telling your girlfriend the truth is always the best thing to do in my opinion..But in a situation like thins i`m not sure because you don`t want to tell your mom and girlfriend that and then later think something different..Teens seem to change their minds alot..Trust me i know.. Also about the hickey i think i`d lie a bit til i knew how i felt and for sure knew my sexuality..I would say me and my friend were playing and he pitched and twisted my skin..I would maybe get the guy friend you made out with to go along with it..
if you want to go out with this guy to see if you actually like males then i think that`ll be a good idea..I wouldn`t suggest the movies or something go somewhere you can hang out and talk.. Maybe a resturant..I wouldn`t try talking at one of each others houses because that might just lead to making out and stuff..♥Dez
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If you really do not feel attracted to this girl, then you probably need to end it. You are just lying to her and yourself. Now if this is the first time anything like this has happened between you and Derek, then maybe you are just experimenting. Go out with him and see if you feel like you want to go further in your relationship.
And yes, tell your mom. She needs to know and she can probably help you, too.
I hope this helps you.
♥
xXx
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