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I'm miserable
I'm miserable with my boyfriend. I didn't really get to know him too well before I started going out with him, so now I have really found out what he is like. He is weird and obsessive over me, and he never leaves me alone. He always wants to kiss or make out and I really just want to be single again. :(
He is actually an okay person, but not to date, and I think by dating him, I've started to change him. He's stopped smoking and he does less drugs. He has a bad life and he said he would kill himself if he ever lost me. Now, I hate to be so pathetic and ask you guys this, but I really need help.
How can I tell him that I want out? Or that I just don't feel I'm ready for this relationship? I don't want to hurt his feelings, or for him to hate me, or worse of all, for him to commit suicide or go back to drugs. Please help!!
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Get your self some Niacin you can get it at any GNC or vitamin shop.
It is why suicidal patients get better. Look it up.
Its your only option Most people will be totally cured from depression im a matter of weeks.
I have tried every thing there is and this is the only thing that works.
Dont stop taking it. With out Niacin it is impossible to get better.
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This guy has problems. BIG problems. But you shouldn't have to be shouldering this burden. At the end of the day, you're just 13 years old and you don't want to have to look back in years to come and feel you wasted them looking after an irresponsible boyfriend who treats you badly. More to the point, you shouldn't have to.
Generally, people who threaten to commit suicide very rarely do it and if they do, it's normally a loosley put together plan to seek attention, rather than to die. However, being told he would do this if he lost you is selfish and emotional blackmail. It is very likely that he has become so infatuated with you because he see's something in you that he lacks himself. Perhaps self confidence. You also boost his feelings of self worth. But he can't expect to have a relationship that is so co-dependent.
Put quite simply, you need to get out now. You need to be responsible for YOU. So try breaking it to him gently (given his weird and obsessive nature, I would do this where other people are going to be present). Tell him that it just isn't working out for you and you think you'd be better off apart. If he gets upset or really wants to know why, by all means gently explain to him that he's suffocating you and that you just can't stand by while he does drugs and goodness knows what else because you don't want to be dragged down. Explain you're only 13 and are too young to be having to deal with such things.
What he does after this point is his own doing and you need to reassure yourself of that. Yes, you will be breaking up with him and he will be upset about it but you cannot be responsible for what he does to himself.
Good luck.
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I think you need to tell him that you just aren't ready for a relationship right now. Nothing works better than the truth.
If you really believe that he would actually harm himself if you left him, you need to tell someone about that (a counselor at school or his parents). I know he might not want that and you might be afraid that it would make him hate you but wouldn't getting him help now beat taking the chance or staying in a relationship that you aren't ready for?
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This happened with one of my friends (but without the drugs and suicide part).. You have a right to get out of this relationship- you are only 13, and he probably doesn't truly love you (usually it's all the hormones).
But I do think he needs help, suicide just isn't something that should be talked about and it would be horrible if he went back to the drugs again. I suggest that you try to communicate all your thoughts/feelings to him (gently though) before you break up with him. Maybe after that, suggest being friends. If he doesn't change you can break up with him. By then if you just know he'll have a bad response to the break up (probably will) then get help from your parents or a school counselor. Make sure someone can monitor him so the worst doesn't happen.
So just try your best and let him know how you feel, he should understand that at least you are not heartless to him and you care about what happens to him. You don't have to be his girlfriend, but you can be a friend and be there for him and still help him with his life. Try to get him some help, you can still be the one that can change his life.
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okaay i had this same problem and im only a few years older than you.
he really wont hurt himself if he lost you.
he just threatens to do so to scare you from leaving him.
just give him a smack with reality
( not a real smack )
ask him why he drinks and stuff..
ESPICALLY IF HES ONLY 13 ask him why and make sure you get an answer
if he is that way it doesnt matter if he hates you wayy to young to be doing that
& he shouldnt at all! worse comes to worse he gets pissed with your questions maybe he will dump you...not so bad eh?
but wait theres more!
if he says something liek "to get away from reality" or "bc im cool" just say to get away from reality? ok because you think you tough getting away from reality. no your not. your just too weak to handle it. if you are going to threaten me n shit so i dont break up with you. you have problems and you need help. you need to say it to him but you also need to let him know your there.
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