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WARNING! long story-who do I choose to tell about my mental
I have taken tests that show I suffer from moderate depression, moderate anxiety, and am most likely suffering from OCD, it is recommended that I get therapy and treatment. I don't know how to tell my parents how I feel depressed, I would rather tell someone (like a therapist) who has never been involved in my life about my problems. The reason I am afraid of who to tell, is because I don't have many options. If I screw up, that'll be my chance, down the drain. My parents divorced when I was four, I was very poor living with my mother growing up, I could live comfortably with my dad. He got married a few months after they got divorced. The day they got divorced they fought in court over me until I was about 10 or 11. I have three siblings, I feel like the older two don't even care about me. Let's say my name is "stacie". Everyone calls me stacierella, like cinderella. Everyone says I'm like a little mommy to my siblings, I do more than their mother does for them. I am in the grade I am supposed to be in, I am homeschooled, and it's a VERY BIG burden to get everything that I need to done. When I tell my friends that sometimes I want to kill myself, they say, "Stacie, don't kill yourself." and that's it. I am constantly asked at my dad's house if I have an attitude-which makes me EXTREMEMLY annoyed. My stepmother is nice sometimes, but I feel more like a servant to her than a step daughter. (I am writing another question about her.) I am not allowed to show my anger, like everyone else does. Just every week I am more about to kill myself than think about killing myself. I feel like nobody would even care if I died. I don't have an absolutely terrible life, I've got friends, I look good, well...I got an iPod for my 13th birthday. Does that count? Basically, I have four families (I got two from my stepparents), Each family either doesn't know or eachother, or only about one or two get along with anyone out of my four families. I have 45 people in my family, and I don't like about 25 of them. The people I trust to tell are : My dad, who will think those tests were not accurate, and defend everyone who I am mad at, or upset with, he will definitely (I am 100% sure) defend just about everyone, I don't really feel like I should tell him (or, he will try to talk to me himself, or just say he will get help, and I don't get it for a looooooooonnnnnggg time). My mom, who is VERY religious and will probably just say everything will get better OR make a humongous deal about it and get upset if my dad doesn't cooperate, and she will probably show me some scriptures and stuff. My friends, I have four new friends I barely know, I have a best friend (I just talked to her, I ended the friendship, but we might be able to work out our differncec, she has been such a good friend, for five years, I might see her this weekend) who I need to talk to and try to explain my life to so she can understand why certain things were going on (by the way I haven't seen her in two months, and her dad is wants us to see eachother and thinks I am being raised wrong), and my two other friends who are two years younger than me. The rest live far away and I don't see them much. WHO DO I TELL????!!!! (sorry this was so long, just need everyone to understand how difficult this is for me :(
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Having depression is a very touchy subject and unfortunately the only person that will understand in a relating type way is someone who has experienced what you are going through. The most you can hope for is that your father will listen to you and tell him how serious you feel and that you want to see a therapist. It sounds as though all the responsibilities put onto you and the fact you dont feel as your older siblings dont care is probably the main problem. Fighting emotional issues can either make or break a person, either you will rise above or get dragged down below.. If you are unable to get to talk to the therapist or you feel as you dont feel comfortable talking to such a person you can feel free to ask me. I do have first hand experience on the affects of depression and anxiety. So you can talk to me and i will do what i can to help.
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Ok well don't apologise for it being long, it would be worse if you didn't tell everything.
Well, like your friends, I will say this. Don't kill yourself. It isn't a good way to get out of things and you will be causeing many other peple pain. I think you should tell the person you trust the most. I would say to talk to a school counculor, but you are homeschooled. But one thing, if whoever you tell makes a big deal out of it, don't get mad, it is knod of a big deal. So i'm guessing you want to talk to a professional, right? Well, I don't know if you could pull it off, but talk to oune of your friends parents, and see if they can get you to someone. good luck, and things will work out.
~Ank
If you want to talk, PM me or email me, I'm ALWAYS open to talk.
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Don't apologise for a long question. Having details is much better than having none!
Your choice believe it or not, is pretty easy.
Who is going to pay for it? If your dad has insurance that covers you, then he is the one you need to get through to.
You need to get him off alone. Tell him everything. Including thoughts of suicide. Tell him you want to seek professional help because you just can't deal with it any longer.
Hopefully he will get you some help. I think maybe having an adult to tell these things to will be a big help alone. So any way you look at it it is the right thing to do.
If he says no the first time...keep after him until he hears you.
Good luck. :)
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