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So this popular guy liked me in middle school and I hated him back then because he was a bully. Fast forward to four years later, I've had a crush on him for three years. We kept staring at each other all the time for the past while. I just started talking to him and smiling at him last week. When the week ended he got into his car and drove away. I got the worst feeling in my stomach and was depressed for three days and I didn't know why. New semester started yesterday and apparently, he finished all his courses and had graduated. I am never going to see him again.
I've thrown up three times and been crying non stop for the past 5 hours. I really really liked him. What am I supposed to do? I feel like I'm going to go off myself and it's so pathetic because we've barely talked but you have no idea how much I like this day. What am I supposed to do now? I feel like my world has come crashing down on me.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Mental health?
Dear World Is Crashing,
Whenever there is an extreme reaction, such as the one you've described, it is a "red flag" signaling that you need help! There is no other way to say this, dear one, but you've got some relationship issues (sometimes called "daddy issues") with the opposite sex.
I'm guessing that you grew up, or are growing up, without a father in the picture. Or, if he is around, just barely so. Our relationship with our father sets the standard for how we relate to men from a very early age.
You didn't really know this guy, and yet look at the impact that his leaving had; this is really about your "daddy issues." Is your father absent, or does he ignore you? These issues are killers because they can really mess you up in the long run, unless YOU GET HELP! Now, none of this might make a lot of sense to you, but I can assure you that it's all connected.
Is there a school counselor you can speak to about this? You might try googling "teen hotlines" in your area and speak to an anonymous hotline counselor; either way, you need to see someone and begin working on your issues.
Don't fret, we all have issues to work on! It's a package deal called being human, and in fact, I'm a survivor of those very issues myself! So, you see, there is hope but it requires that you do your part. Hey, nothing gets better without working on it. Plus, counseling is a way to know yourself better, and how bad can that be?
Our emotional health is very deeply rooted in our physical health, so the crying and desperation are connected to the unresolved issues in your life. Please seek help. It's really the only answer to your dilemma!
I wish you well.
Take Care,
Earth Mother
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Well, OCD is a compulsive disorder..meaning you have a habit of doing something more than usual so could that be triggering your depression? maybe... because you were used to be able to see him, even though not knowing him so well, but just having him there was like a comfort. However, now that he's gone..it's like disrupted that pattern probably causing you to feel like something's missing and ultimately going into the depression you are in now. TRUST ME, you WILL make it through this! You're young, strong, and have so much to look forward to. If you're really adamant on this boy, is there anyway you can reach him? Ask around about him..like where he could be now and stuff. Maybe, if you're too afraid to call him or see him in person, you could write him telling him everything you've felt for him and how much you always wanted to tell him. I know similar feelings of liking someone but regretting that I had never told them..because i don't know what "could have been." You're not a pathetic person at all; situations like these just suck. If you have someone you can talk to about all this, please do. I find talking to my friends helps me SO much. As for stress, just r e l a x, stay with people who make you happy, eat food that's GOOD for you..no caffeine and over sugared and starched things..just breathe and if you need anything else, someone will always be there. Ok?
I hope this helps.
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