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lack of response
My brothers have the habit of not replying my emails/SMS text messages when i make some requests from them ( for example when am broke and beed cash for travels or the pursuit of some job), even when i emphasis the urgency. i am a student ands not employed, while my brothers are working and they know i have no other means of livelihood. At times i get the urge to just ignore them, and at times i feel maybe i shoudn't but just keep asking them whats up, although i have my own pride to protect most of the time. I need some advice. Thanks to you all.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Bluntly put, your brothers have no responsibility towards your financial situation. If they aren't replying when you ask them for things, it's obvious that they feel uncomfortable and are not sure how to respond.
If you want a relationship with your siblings, focus on emotional needs - going out to dinner, asking them how they're doing, sharing little triumphs of your own life. It isn't appropriate to expect them to finance your job hunting or other needs.
Chances are they, too, went through a period of financial insecurity. And while to you it may seem they have money to spare, more income means that they are probably weighed down with more responsibilities - mortgages, car payments, monthly bills.
While it's natural to wish they could give you money, it's not realistic at this point as they obviously don't want to help you financially. Better to find a part-time job that you can walk or take public transport to, etc.
While this period in your life is bound to be frustrating, it will teach you a lot about how you manage money stress - an issue you'll face until the day you die, barring winning the lottery! If you manage yourself well, you could also end up in a closer relationship with your siblings, where they feel appreciated for being themselves rather than for being possible money sources.
Best of luck.
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Here is a novel idea that will get your calls returned: Stop asking them for things.
If you are in desperate need your siblings are great people to lean on, but if you are always in desperate need, then you have a problem, not them, and the best thing they can do for you and leave you to handle it yourself. Use some of that pride you mentioned and take responsibility for your finances.
If you are completely reliant on them for money, work out in advance how much they will be giving you a week or for the month. That way you know how much you have and how much to expect in the future, and will save accordingly for special things like travel.
Also, maybe if you just called them to chat, or ask how they are doing from time to time you might find your calls returned more often. But if you call with requests and then ignore them or are rude to them when they do not help immediately they will either continue to ignore you or tell you flat out no.
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