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Weight
Ok... im 13/f and i weigh 170lbs yes i know im fat... but ive been losing a lot of weight.. but all my friends are tiny and i feel so selfconcence(SP) around them and like i feel like they talk about my weight when im not around(but i know they dont) i just feel like really fat... is there anyway that i cant just be not selfconcense around them and i can just be me without feeling fat.... im already on a really good diet so you dont have to tell me to get on a diet.. i need mental help on this 1 ... :'(
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Sometimes it's just getting into the mind set and telling yourself "I can do this, I can be happy, I'm proud of who I am and I know I'm beautiful" Even if you feel like you're lying to yourself eventually you will believe it. I used to be really awkward and overweight and puberty lasted like 7 years (so sad) and so I relied on my humor to get me though. I made jokes about myself and that didn't always make me feel better but what surprisingly did was when I'd say things to my friends like "I'm so hot" even if I know I'm not. It's ok to be conceited and tell yourself I'm hot I'm beautiful and I like who I am. You'll start to believe it because it's already true.
If you can't get to that place where you're ok with being cocky and conceited (lol) then you might consider going to a therapist. I know that always seems like a big scary word but in reality sooo many people go to therapy. Sometimes it only takes like 5/6 sessions and you never have to go again.
My last suggestion would be to buy new clothes, get a makeover, get your hair cut or highlighted and buy some sexy shoes! If you are losing weight then you'll need new clothes- don't keep wearing your clothes that are too big for you cause they won't be able to show off what you've achieved. Go to a MAC, Nars, Laura Mercier, or Stila counter, these make up companies are all geared toward younger people. Tell them you want to stand out but look natural and they will be able to accent the features you have and bring out the ones that aren't as strong. And if you don't know how to put on make up then they will definitely be able to teach you. Think about a new hair style that can frame or face or maybe some sweepy bangs. A stylist will help you to choose what's right for your face and actually your body as well. And last but not least, hot shoes can totally change your outfit. Go get yourself like some hot pumps and if you don't know how to walk in them walk around the house until you learn. Pair them with dark jeans or dressy clothes and they will change the way you stand which changes the way your body appears. Heals also help tone your legs. :-D
Feeling beautiful on the outside will help to make you feel beautiful on the inside but the most important thing is to be yourself. Don't do things that make you feel uncomfortable and know that you're friends already love you for who you are and now it's time for you to do the same!
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You do NOT need to subject yourself to diets at the age of 13. You're still growing and things will change very rapidly as you approach your late teens. However, if you want to give yourself a little "push" and develop good habits for the rest of your life, perhaps you can learn how to eat well and engage in regular exercise? If you're realistic in your expectations, it's actually pretty easy to start and maintain.
Firstly, weight loss is a gradual process. There is no fast way to burn the fat. Furthermore, losing weight is only half of the battle, as you must also strive to KEEP it off. This is where adopting good eating habits and partaking in regular physical activity is important. There are plenty of diets out there that claim help you lose 6-10lbs a week (or something equally outrageous), but in truth, most people lose about 1-2lbs a week. Sometimes it may seem like you're losing more (and that's great for motivation!) but the added poundage is simply water.
Secondly, eating well can be hard, especially if you're at the mercy of your parents when it comes to food. If you come from a family that LOVES great tasting, but fat-filled cuisine, you can mitigate the effects of consuming too many calories in one sitting either by exercising even more WHILE eating the same quantity of food or you may cut down on the portions. Also, make sure you cut out or minimise the use of foods like butter. Try to stick to fresh fruits and vegetables and lean meats.
Whatever you do, DO NOT starve yourself. For one thing, starvation "diets" are counter-productive. Your metabolism will automatically slow down if you provide it with less fuel over the course of a day (i.e. food). A slower metabolism means less fat burned, which equals less weight lost. You'll also want to stay away from greasy fastfood like McDonalds, KFC and the like. Not only are those varieties of food filled with fat, they're also extremely high sources of sodium, which, over time, can lead to many, many health related problems.
In addition, starvation may lead to fast results, but keep in mind that you can't keep yourself on the verge of starvation for the rest of your life. As soon as you BREAK from that cycle, you'll likely gorge yourself with food and gain back all those pounds you thought you had lost for good. Then the cycle begins all over again. You can't win like this.
Thirdly, exercise is a must. I'm happy to inform you that you don't need to do the equivalent of the Boston Marathon every day to lose weight. A mere 20-30 minutes of physical activity every day coupled with sensible eating habits is good enough to shed the fat and keep it off. You can either walk or jog or even bike. Make sure, however, that whatever you're engaged in is intense enough to result in *some* perspiration. Walking very, very slowly for half an hour won't help that much if your aim is slim down. I would also suggest resistance training, but at your age you needn't worry about it.
Fourthly, resist the temptation of being pushed into extreme diets. Bitchy teenage girls who think they're pretty and slim are NOT qualified nutritionists. In fact, the ones who feel the need to call others fat probably cry themselves to sleep every night thinking that they're not good enough or too "bulky" to be attractive. Unless you want to buy yourself a one way ticket to Anorexia-ville or Bulimia-burg, I'd STRONGLY suggest that you ignore media portrayals of the definition of "thin". Magazine photographs are edited in computer programmes, you know. Have you seen some of those actresses on real life television? If what they say about TV is true (that it adds 10 pounds) then I have to say that many actresses in Hollywood are probably walking, dessicated corpses.
Finally, ignore the peer pressure and don't always think that people talk about you behind your back. Your life is yours to lead and the only opinions that matter come from those who matter to YOU. It may be difficult at times to ignore hostile people, but if you keep your focus on the fact that the teen years are only *a* part of life and not, contrary to popular belief by many teens, a *major* portion of it, you'll find that your adolescence will be a great deal more enjoyable.
If you need anything else, feel free to ask another question.
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That's great keep up the good work!!! what type of diet are you on . .i need to lose weight to . .email me mylifestory3283@aol.com
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I am a curvy cutie too so I know where this is coming from. A woman can weigh 100lbs and look ugly while a second woman can weigh 200lbs and be the most beautiful woman in all of the world. Simply put, weight is not the only thing that matters you have to act beautiful to be beautiful.
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I can really relate with you on this one because all of my friends are gorgeous and skinny and the main attraction with guys, and I had always been the chubbier, just-a-friend type. I was always self conscience and I always felt as if my friends were talking about me behind my back.
But I learned to accept myself, what I looked like on the inside and outside. True friends look only on the inside, and if they don't then they're not true. They're superficial, and friends like that shouldn't matter. They should look at you now and say, "You're perfect." I learned to be confident and love me just the way I was, and I found that most people like a confident girl; someone who's not afraid to be themself, someone outgoing, and someone FUN.
It's great that you started working out (I do too, hehe) but remember that beauty is only skin deep. <3
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You're trying REALLY hard to lose weight & that's great. If they are really your friends, they wouldn`t/shouldn`t be talking about your weight. I highly doubt they do though. What's really important is that your working your way to lose weight. Not everybody has the perfect body. You shouldn't let what society calls "skinny" ruin your self-esteem. Be as confident as you can & try not to think of pleasing people. Only please yourself & that`s what`s really important in your case. Just keep doing what your doing. Just think if you keep this diet going, you'll feel even greater. Your working on your diet so you should feel GREAT! =)
♥
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Babe all you have to do is tell yourself that if those people truly are your friends they wont care weather you`re skinny or fat, tall or short, they should love you for the person you are on the inside and not on the outside, because beauty is only skin deep and no` one has EVERYTHING no one has the looks, the attitude, the confidence, and all that jazz. don`t let anyone bring you down, you need to be who you know you are around your friends and if you`re not then they aren`t really you`r friends sweetheart!! good luck [♥]Lej
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