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thx for the advice it helped but now i have a even bigger problem in witch i need help with
and i will give you a fare warning tht this is realy long and you dont have to read i all if you dont want to
well for one my grandma and great aunt are seriusly ill in wich they might die soon but my grandma hase a thing juat like alzimers but it hapens much faster so she wont even no who i am by the summer. but with all tht going on i have had alot of humunges changes and problems in my life witch i can remeber very well. btu of these only 2 peaple know abotu tht stuff and they are my best friends i hve ever had even thoug i have only nown them for about a year but sum of the stuff has hapend to them to so they can help but now in school i have a friend i have nown mot of my life and i try to fill him in on things going on in my life but he dosent belive me he thinks i am lieing to him but then he say stuff tht realy hurts but he could never under stand he has had a great life he has never been poor he has never been homeless he is rich and he always trys to start fights with me so i fight him and he alwayys loses and he noes it becuse he has never had older sibligs to fight with but when school comes again he starts say stuff tht isnt true and says i lost bu witch any of the peaple tht have er fought me no i would win and tht he is full of bull shit but when he is nto trying to show off me and him get along great btu he ahs canged since i first met him he is trying to be mr tuff guy and have a big reputation and he hangs out with other kids tht make him feel big but i hang out with the peaple tht basicly no evry thing abotu me and they dont like him becuse ye can be anoying so he ameks fun of me for it but only in school and he will only try to put me down when he has a crowd but enogh of tht he starts sayingstuff like ur suck a pussy becuse you cant handel the pain of sum oen dieing and stuff liek tht but he would never no how it feels becuse my granma has always been there for me she wasnt liek a grandma she is like a kid like me and i could tell her almsot anything but no bit by bit i am loosing her and she will never come back so he makes fun of me for it and has his group of friends make fun of me and stuff liek tht and then other peaple who think they arent being mean say somthing ro do sumthing and so i sit by myself and think and think and making os so much worse ad this usaly hapens on a dialy basis so at night i will sit in bed lsitening to music but then other times i go out abotu midnight and walk and cry and dont come hom till about 2 or 3 and usaly feel abit better but yet i have completly lost it in school and i couldnt under stand why butthen i have had this hapen many times becuse my hole fith grade year i woul always cry in school becuse it wasabotu tht time i put together a number of things tht have hapend to me and witch then i could only figure out and i started remeber ing more and more and tht has literd me with many more problems then i woudl think one person can handle btu it was about fith grade i went into a sever depression i wouldnt eat i wouldnt talk and abotu tht time sum docter said i had deresion disorder and since abotu tht time i have one into many periods of servere depression and self destrution
sum tht u woudl never no about becuse i never show sines of being upset unless i am crying but
You gotta keep living life with ure chin up....even if that means showing every 1 ure tears
but out of all of this i realy need advice on how should i cop with all this pain and what shoudl i do abotu all those peaple tht try t bring me down and any ways you think might help me express some of my feelings and don tell me writing i write alot most ofit is poetry and rlly long but i always delete it afteri am finished with it
sincerly Alex 13/M
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Well, 1st thing is if you write poems and stuff don't throw them away! I'd love to hear them, and im sure there frickin terriffic =). I got kind of confused reading this but you cleared it up in the end, and you just need to know how to put up with all this pain right? Well i don't think i've ever came close to being super depressed like it sounds like you are, because I've never had anyone close to me or in my family die, or become sick so i'll try to view what your going though. I know its hard to ingore someone like that kid, but just try to not care what he thinks. I know that might not work but hes just an ass hole who probably has problems with himself so he decides to be a jerk. So just try to ignore what he says to you. Here's just a though... maybe get a punching bag? I know i have one but never use it lol, but im sure it releaves stress? And if you get mad at this kid then you can just take it out on your punching bag in a healthy way. Or just excerise. I know what its like to be in pain and it does hurt like hell, and its hard to get rid of. I couldn't and still can't find a way to get rid of hurting and be "truly" happy. You can try just talking to your best friends who understand you because friends really help. By giving you advice like im trying to now lol, or just listening to you. Im so sorry whats happening to you and i really do hope everything gets better, and i hope my advice helps you. I know its not the best advice but i tried to see from your point of view. You can always come back and ask me anything anytime. ♥
Katie ♥
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