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Hi this is the same person that asked about what teens want in a magazine. I was reading your profile and I noticed that you said that you used to be anorexic. I want to know how was this experience. I want to write an article on girls who have been through these types of illnesses. I won't mention your name. My ultimate goal is to see how these illnesses start, what are some of the things that caused it, who did you first tell(no names just simply "friend","mom", "dad", "school counselor",etc.)how did you recover, and anything else would be helpful. If you don't feel comfortable telling me this then I completely understand. Please don't feel pressured.
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Well it first started towards the middle of the 5th grade, I don't really remember what caused it (I'm now in 10th grade) I actually didn't tell anybody. My teacher eventually called my parents telling them that I didn't eat lunch and if I did it was just a bite or two of pudding, something very very small. My parents confronted me about it and I admitted that I wasn't eating. I think the reasoning was when my brother and I were fighting he called me fat, I wasn't fat, I know that for a fact, I was actually quite thin at the time, it's just one of those things that happens. But then I remember at one point I was going to start eating again and when I first decided I wanted to eat again I took a bite of food but I couldn't swallow it, I started choking and it made me think that maybe I shouldn't be eating. So then I just wouldn't eat. My parents took me to one "shrink" but I didn't like her, she was strange to me and I just didn't like being around her. They took me to another one who I took to right away, she was easy to talk to and seemed more like a friend than an adult. I remember playing all sorts of games when I went to see her. After about a year it had gotten rather serious, I started eating a little bit more at a time though. I would eat cheese because it was simple, it would melt in my mouth and I simply liked it. Then gradually I would start eating the broth of soups. Then all I would eat was tomato soup. One of my neighbors tried to help a lot. Anytime they went out to eat they would invite me, they were really concerned. All I would get was a grilled cheese sandwich though, I would only eat the cheese and maybe tiny bites of the bread. At one point my psychiatrist (or psychologist, not sure what it's called) told me that if I didn't start eating more I would have to be hospitalized, I don't know if it was true or if she was just scaring me. I remember that towards the end of each visit she would weigh me, but I was not allowed to look at the scale. I do know that I got down to a very small amount. If you would like I could try and find some pictures of when I was anorexic, I could scan them and save them to my photobucket account. I do remember I was in the 6th grade and I wore jeans that would fit a 7 year old, I was 11 turning 12. It was a hard time for me, my parents tried to get me to eat, but I just wouldn't. Eventually the doctors said they would have give me vitamins and stuff because I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed. I had to start drinking these drinks called Boost. They tasted horrible so my dad would put them in a blended with milk or ice cream or something, it was the only way I would drink them. Then I, for a reason I still don't know, had to change "shrinks". It was a man this time. He seemed nice, very polite, but he kinda creeped me out. I was just going into the 7th grade at this point. I was prescribed medicine. Nobody knew it, but I wouldn't take it. It was a pill and I was, and still am, afraid to swallow pills. Sometimes I would chew it, other times I would just hide it or throw it away. Eventually though I talked to a few friends who helped me through it. Midway through the 7th grade I started to eat again, and I stopped seeing the "shrink". During the 8th grade I almost became anorexic again but then I remembered all the Hell I had gone through (excuse the language) and talked myself out of it.
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I apologize for how confusing this may be, I just kind of said things as they came to mind, I tend to do that a lot. I don't mind answering questions, actually I have more that I can add.
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Last year, my freshman year in high school, guidance had these groups, one of the groups was about girls and their appearances. A friend wanted to join, but was embarrassed to do so alone so I joined with her. We would meet once or twice a week to discuss how we felt about our appearances, eating disorders, and other things that most teenage girls think about. I was able to share my experience, it was a lot of fun, and I got out of class for an hour :-P. But another thing I learned in that class was a very touching song, it's a wonderful song and it's called Beautiful by Bethany Dillon, here are the lyrics.
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I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me
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Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life
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[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart,
and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful
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Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory
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[Chorus]
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You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful
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If you have any other questions feel free to ask, I don't mind sharing!!
Kate A.K.A Southern_Chickety
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