Question Posted Thursday December 22 2005, 4:18 pm
This isn't a question that is only related to freindship. It has to do with many things and there isn't a category for all of the above. I have many problems and some are kind of confusing.
First- Everyone says that I am a nice person and that is my problem. Alot of people think that I am too nice. Everyone that comes to me with a problem (which seems to be like everyone) I help them out. I love that people can come to me with their problems and they can trust me and stuff but everyones problems seems to cause alot of drama in my life. I am constenly helping people. I just got a wake up call from a freind and they said that I need to figure out what I want in life. THen only thing that I can come up with is that I want to be happy. I want to help people and then as i thought about it more, I don't have any kind of plan for myself since i put everyone else in front of me. I barely ever think about myself and what I want because i don't want to be considered as a selfish cocky person.
1) How do I still help people and also consider myself?
2) How do I do this without adding drama to my life?
3) Where is the line between confident and cocky?
Second- I have this freind and he likes me alot. I don't know if I like him because I have a hard time trusting people. Everytime he says something really sweet, like I'm beautiful or something, I have a hard time believing that he actually means it. I don't know what to do.
Third- I was thinking about this alot and I realized that I have no confindence what so ever. I always look in the mirror saying whoa! I look awful today! Other people can go to a mirror and say I look good today. I am constantly comparing myself to others. I realized that my life is boring compared to others and that I don't have as good of a stlye as them. I need to be more self confindent.
GROUP 2
1- i can not tell you weather to go out with him but i can tell you trust your heart and get some x-girlfriends or just friends of him and get the inside scoop.
GROUP 3
1-you can do things you would never do in life
2-act as if their invisible
AGEHA answered Thursday December 22 2005, 10:31 pm: 1.1) Rather than solve everyone's problems for them, take a more passive role and get people to help themselves out. This puts less stress on yourself.
1.2) Pretty self explanitory.
1.3) There is no line, sorry. They are subjective terms, so what one considers to be the difference between the two is not necessarially going to be the same for another.
2) That's just trust you have to build in others, as well as a bit of self confidence in yourself - just enough to believe him.
3.1 & 3.2) Ah, it looks like you kind of answered question 2 with this. Maybe this seems like the kind of advice you can just ask for because you are used to giving advice to help others. These aren't exactly questions you can just ask someone and immediately be cured. You have to find your own way to bring out your strengths. You have to work on being happy with what you have, rather than be envious of what others have. There's no easy solution to this. [ AGEHA's advice column | Ask AGEHA A Question ]
alwyztekn answered Thursday December 22 2005, 10:14 pm: questions...
1.) how do YOU help EVERYONE Else, and don't know how to help Yourself ? curious about that. or is just that you don't know how to say 'no'.
Learn it.
2.) Do you Love You ? doesn't seem like it, and if you don't, you better Learn that..too.
Confidence is inside of you, it is not taught to You, you have it..already.
Sure books, teacher, mentors..they are all 'boosters' of confidence, but you are living with it as you speak. Learn about YOU. You seem like such a special person...keep telling YOURSELF that and THEN you will start to "Love You".
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