about


advice

This isn't a question that is only related to freindship. It has to do with many things and there isn't a category for all of the above. I have many problems and some are kind of confusing.

First- Everyone says that I am a nice person and that is my problem. Alot of people think that I am too nice. Everyone that comes to me with a problem (which seems to be like everyone) I help them out. I love that people can come to me with their problems and they can trust me and stuff but everyones problems seems to cause alot of drama in my life. I am constenly helping people. I just got a wake up call from a freind and they said that I need to figure out what I want in life. THen only thing that I can come up with is that I want to be happy. I want to help people and then as i thought about it more, I don't have any kind of plan for myself since i put everyone else in front of me. I barely ever think about myself and what I want because i don't want to be considered as a selfish cocky person.

1) How do I still help people and also consider myself?

2) How do I do this without adding drama to my life?

3) Where is the line between confident and cocky?


Second- I have this freind and he likes me alot. I don't know if I like him because I have a hard time trusting people. Everytime he says something really sweet, like I'm beautiful or something, I have a hard time believing that he actually means it. I don't know what to do.

Third- I was thinking about this alot and I realized that I have no confindence what so ever. I always look in the mirror saying whoa! I look awful today! Other people can go to a mirror and say I look good today. I am constantly comparing myself to others. I realized that my life is boring compared to others and that I don't have as good of a stlye as them. I need to be more self confindent.

1) How do I gain confidence?

2) How do I stop comparing myself to others?


Thanks!

questions...

1.) how do YOU help EVERYONE Else, and don't know how to help Yourself ? curious about that. or is just that you don't know how to say 'no'.
Learn it.

2.) Do you Love You ? doesn't seem like it, and if you don't, you better Learn that..too.

Confidence is inside of you, it is not taught to You, you have it..already.
Sure books, teacher, mentors..they are all 'boosters' of confidence, but you are living with it as you speak. Learn about YOU. You seem like such a special person...keep telling YOURSELF that and THEN you will start to "Love You".


__________________________________________________

~ there are roses..but then there are Hostess DING-DONGS! ~

[view]


My parents are in cali and my sister , her boyfriend, and her baby live in our basement last night i snuck a boy in and my sister caught me she was constantly yelling at me like she was my mother and telling me i was a slut. She keeps threatining that she will tell my mom and dad which i know she wont unless i make her mad again. No one in the house will talk to me and i dont want my sister to be mad at me anymore and i dont want her to tell my parents. I wish i could turn back time but i know i cant does anyone have any ideas?




^^^^^^^^^^^ EVERYONE WHO ANSWERED THAT MY SISTER TOLD MY PARENTS WHAT SHOULD I DO?

your sister is probably threatening to tell and yelling at you b/c she can see 'herself' in you. I'm sure that was not part of your sister's future plans to have her man and "A" child of her own..living in her parents Basement !!
Think about it, do you think it was smart to sneek a boy in your house, when I'm sure that he could of visited at decent or appropriate time when 'invited'?

You made your bed, Darlin...you are gonna have to lie in it.
She's yelling b/c she loves you and doesn't want to see you make any mistakes.

Unfortunatly, you should feel bad..and rightfully so, it's called "Guilt for Doing something Wrong".
rule are inforced for a reason. Ask your sister about THAT. I'll bet she will start to talk to you then.

__________________________________________________

Truth Hurt..but it's still True.

[view]


i really like this guy. and i know he likes me. The thing is he is black and some are my friends are acting weird about that. i mean i don't see anything wrong with it. Is there something wrong with a white female dating a black male??

cant believe it is 1 week away from 2006, an this matter is STILL in someone's "Issue-Box"

--------------------------------------------------

~ and Snap said to Crackle..."What's Poppin, Baby?!"~

[view]


okay, i have this mark on my boob, its like blood red and it was like a bump last night and now its not. it looks kind of like razor burn except theres to red bumps in the middle of the little red speckles. i hope thats not confusing. its gotten a little less red and it doesnt hurt. breast cancer doesnt run in my family or anything like that its just scaring me a bit.

please and thanks
p.s. PLEASE DONT TELL ME TO TALK TO A DOCTOR OR MY MOM, IF I WANTED TO I WOULDNT HAVE ASKED THIS QUESTION. and no smart asses please.


where is the mark at...side, front, under..nip??
u allergic to anything ?

new soap, bra, lotions, cat...razor burn ??!
anything is possible.
if it doesn't hurt & the color has gotten less, then try some cortizone, neosporin..or coco butter. keep an eye on the improvements, or disimprovements.
stressing about it doesn't help..either. could be nothin.

__________________________________________________

~ water is an interesting thing...dern stuff defies the laws of Gravity! ~

[view]


Everyone I know has smoked weed. I dont really want to; but I figured the easy way out was to tell people (if they asked) that I have. (even though I never have and they have).... so yea, anyways, how do u feel after ur high??
Is this wrong of me to do? I know I shouldnt have to feel like lieing to them about this, because its nothign to really be proud of, but.. I cant help it and it stops a lot of questions, or them trying to get me to smoke.. ya know?

I know. and to answer your question, no. you should not have to lie. They should respect you if you do not want to, and I know that sounds hard for you to understand, cuz u may loose some of your 'hang-out buddys', but just remember this.
THAT IS ALL THAT THEY ARE..Hang-out Buddys.
They will never teach you things in u'r life that you will need, like counselers do, mentors do, or even what friendship is. If they are friends, they would back off, but still respect you.

To answer your other question...the feeling of 'getting high' feels like your body is moving 45-50% slower than it normally should. Not just your arms, legs & motor skills, but your Mind..as well.
You know how cloudy your head feels when you have a head cold or the flu ?? It is worst.
Think about that, if something terrible was happening to you at the time of Being High..and you simply could not control it, b/c you could not 'move as fast'. Like getting out of the way of a moving car coming at you.


__________________________________________________

~ Pockets are NOT for Sock ! ~

[view]


I am always "wet" down there, even when Im not turned on. I always feel like I should wad a lil bit of tiolet paper in my underwear so that it doesnt get all over my underwear and harden. What can be causing this? Its really gross and unatractive.

hmmm...
that is doozy, but not really.
Sometimes these things are pretty common, as long as there no odor or discoloration.
Lite shields help most of these probs (clothes-wise)but you should really seek some prof. advise about the matter just to make sure there is nothing really causing this.

Some clinics offer these services for free & since holiday-time off is coming, I would invest in some time in checking this out just make sure your fine.

think of it as a 'personal x-mas gift' just to you for taking care of your health. :)


__________________________________________________

~Cats coudn't care...either way~


[view]


Do teen guys (around 14/15 years old) care a lot about a girl's weight? I get a dress down day tommorrow for school (my school wears uniforms) and i want to look nice but im really insecure about my thighs and i dont know if all the guys will be like OMG shes sooo fat and not like me. I know it shouldnt matter but i want to know if its a big issue with guys in general. (directed towards teenage guys reading this: ) when you look at a girl a you think shes pretty would she be unattractive to you if her legs are kinda big? do a girls looks really matter if you like her?

thanks if anyone answers

if this is something 'you' are concerned about, then I will take it another route for you, instead of "who care what THEY think".

What are u planning on wearing ?
there is a difference between 'dressing down' vs. 'dressing attractive', and not meaning that in a sexy way, but meaning that in "what is going to be "attracting the EYES to the THIGHS" ??

skirt ? shorts ? light colored tight-fitted jeans?
Try to find something that will take attention 'off' of that area, like somthing dark. something straight-legged around the ankle that will line u'r thighs w/u'r hieght.

Leggins are all the rage now, so how about dark leggins w/a longer jean skirt for comfortability.
Cant help u'r thighs, gurlie...but u can sure take the 'distraction' off of them to balance your look !

G/L


__________________________________________

~ As much as we say NO Thank You...Taxes are still there ! ~

[view]


my boyfriend dont trust me as much as he should but i dont do anything wrong..i dont talk to other guys and i dont flirt...i just go to school do my work and nothing else..but every time i get home and call him we argue about what happened in school..can someone please help me and tell me what i can do to prove to him he can trust me or help him trust me?????

exactly...rs#.
if all you guys have to talk bout is "who's messing around with who"..then why bother with a relationship at all ?!
Relationships are based in fun & happy & smiling & being together. Trust follows those things b/c of "FUN & HAPPY & SMILING & Being Together!
Not insecurities.

If that is all being together brings out of you 2, then maybe you should reconsider.

remember...love doesn't argue or hurt.

[view]


How can you tell if a shy boy likes you?

Great Advice, buzzie...u hit it right on the pine-cone.

But question should be...How do you tell if "you like a shy boy", shouldn't it? ;)

s'ok, shy boys are Keepers !


-----------------------------

If it doesn't flap at You, still..don't bother it.

[view]


A guy friend of mine just moved into his first house (that he owns and doesnt rent) in another state with his wife. His wife and him have a very rocky marriage and I was a little surprised when he told me this. They had to move up there for a job.
Well the last time I talked to him I asked him how he felt about the move. He didnt sound excited at all (which suprised me because in his email he made it sound like a big deal that it was their first home together). He sounded really depressed and all he said was "it's beautiful up there", but he didnt sound like he meant it.
I told him how well I was doing and how happy I was with my life and my new job. He didnt sound happy for me at all. We were talking on the phone and then he snapped "I have to go, and don't phone me on my cell anymore unless it's after 6".
Well that was over 6 weeks ago and he hasnt phoned me or emailed me since. I was pretty choked he would do that to me, I mean it's not my fault that he's unhappy for whatever reason.
So my question is, why would he take anything out on me and not his wife? I've been a really good friend to him and I don't think it's fair. Also, why would he sound so depressed if he was moving to his first real home?

He snapped on "you" b/c u were the 'closest one to him'. Not meaning that 'physically'...but 'emotionally'. ESPECIALLY if he was having probs w/his decisions & you weren't with yours.

When things start to fail in our lives, we seem to HATE hearing about others Furtunates. It hurts us & makes us think that 'we' are doing something wrong & cant find simplistic (sp?) answers for them. We even do it as we get older, not even thinking that it is "childish". He couldnt tell you something negative about how things were going in his life, he just stayed 'hush' about it, but as soon as he heard how well YOU were doing, he couldn't take it..so he snapped.
Now he is not keeping in touch at all ? hmmm..sounds like someone should 'Grow up'.That is immature...insecure & selfish. Shame on him.

But DO wish him the best in your mind & hope that things have picked up for him.
It's all you can do...just to secure 'You'.

--------------------------------------------------

Truth hurts...but it's the Truth.

[view]


Hey everyone,
Usually i dont come here unless it's a TOTAL emergency--sadly this is one of those times. My brother, Dustin is in love with this girl, Samantha. Now, my brother lives in Lousiville, TX and she lives in Houston (it's 6 hours away). But Dustin dosent do long distance relationships because he cant see her in real life, he cant kiss her, he cant hold her, etc. So he feels that he cant go out with her. Now, Samantha and her best friend told him that Dustin is Samantha's only reason to live, and she'll probably kill herself without Dustin. So Dustin, NEVER cries--and he's crying. Dustin tried to cut himself last night, but couldnt because his blade wasnt sharp. So i ask of you all, wtf should we all do? I mean, it's a life or death situation for both of them, and i dont want ANYONE dying here, so it's really hard for me to figure this out on my own. If anyone can help me,or anything to help me with, Please reply and/or IM me on AOL/AIM at silverwolf1561. Thankyou, SO much!

How old is he ? It may not seem relevant to most, but it 'kinda' matters what age range.

Most teens experience this. Loves of our 'temporary' Life seems like this is ALL we are really Living for, b/c..really, in a Teenager's life, having someone have 'love for us' is all we really HAVE !

Does he think that 'being selfish' enuff to "Kill Himself" is going to solve anything ? Has he even thought of how that will make Sam feel, or the greif he will cause your Family over this..for that matter ? He sounds like he is looking for Attention, and if Sam is not there, he surely is 'getting all the attention' he is calling out for.

He has SOOOO Much more to live for. Long distance relationships are built on "Strength", and if he feels like he's not STRONG ENUFF, then he should consider some thearopy. He is going to have obsticals in his life that he feels hurts him or feels like he cannot handle HIS WHOLE LIFE! That is why it is called LIFE !!
Keeping in touch with his 'gurl' when he can is all he can do, Technology is something else these days! When he has a chance, visit...or visa-versa.
He should be focused on SCHOOL & Future, not suicide.
Not to sound unsympathetic or cold, u guys...
but Dustin...seriously, Get a Hobby !

---------------------------------------------

Truth could Hurt..but it's True.

[view]



<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>

eXTReMe Tracker