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Moving too Fast
Ok, first of all my girlfriend and I are both sophomores in High School. We've been together for just over two months but we've known each other for almost four years and everything is going okay. But i'm in the middle of a depression right now and its making me reconsider a lot of things. For your information we don't have a typical on-off high school sort of romance. See we've determined that we are soulmates and intend to marry when we can (we even made these cheap little pretend rings to wear until then); in short, we're very serious for teenage romance. My question centers around the speed of the relationship. We've basically done everything aside from sex and being a guy, I feel I should try to get it to that point, you know? But for some reason all I really want to do is slow down. I feel if I tell her this, she will think I'm not ready for the kind of relationship she wants. And if she does, she might want to find someone else. My question is should this relationship take a step back or stay where it is now?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Remember, sex isn't required for a loving relationship. If you get married and still don't want to have sex for a long time, something may be wrong. Other than that, abstinence is perfectly fine. If she cannot accept your decision to not have sex and to slow down, then she probably wants the cock, not the guy.
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If she really thinks you were actually soulmates, then she wouldn't leave you for taking things slower. If she does? Well, it looks like the soulmate/marriage thing fell through probably because you are still SOPHOMORES IN HIGH SCHOOL.
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My best advice to you is to take it slow... and if she is offended that you want to take it slower you can simply say 'if we are truly soulmates we will have the rest of our lives to savor eachoter in all ways.' my biggest concern is that time changes a lot of things, (maybe I'm just old and bitter :D ) and when I was a sophmore in highschool I rushed head first into a lot of situations that would have been easier to cope with had I slowed down a bit... two months isn't all that long a time to have been together not when you are talking about spending the rest of your lives together... so take it easy and do what you think is best for everyone..
I wish you both the best.
Luck to you both
Frost
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if you are as seriuos as you say you are then this should not be a problem at all. this girl should accept yourfeeling if she loves you. i know that am in no place to say this i cant tell you how ur supposed to feel,right? but you should not feel pressured to have sex, the best thing to do is to talk to her and see what place she is in. im sure everything will work out great! luv and happiness __tT__
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Why do you feel pressure as a guy to pursue sex?
You must be aware that there is a difference between what you see on TV and how people truly behave. There are men who aren't sex crazed fiends. Congratulations, you are one of them.
Why would your 'soul mate' dump you because you didn't feel ready to have sex with her?
I'm sorry Darling, but if you are afraid your feelings and opinions might end your relationship then you aren't quite as 'serious' or as ready for commitment as you seem to think you are.
If you want to slow down you should make that clear to her. Planning a long-term relationship with someone means facing the facts as well as sharing those facts with one another. There are no fairytales and reality does intrude on perfect romances, so learn quickly to deal with it and talk about the issues.
Yes, your desire to slow things down might hurt her, it might even, in an extreme case, end the relationship. However, if you go through with something you don't feel ready for and continue to pretend that you want the same kind of relationship she does, then you have doomed the relationship without even consulting her about it. If you trust and respect her feelings, you owe it to her to tell her yours and let an honest discussion take place.
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Biologically speaking, I'm sure your depression is not exactly helping your sexual drive. Explain to your girlfriend that you don't want to slow down because of not being ready, but more because you are. By doing this you show that you are very mature and not the typical boy looking to get laid. Make sure you let her know that this isn't you rejecting her, and that you still think she's beautiful and sexy but just want to wait for the perfect time to come. Besides, if you're planning on being with her a long time you have plenty of time to wait for that stuff. It will only make it that much better when it happens.
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You need to sit down and talk to your girlfriend. They say that if you let something go and it comes back then it's meant to be. So if she lets you go and you go back then it's meant to be. You guys are both young, there are too many things ahead of you now to determine if you are supposed to be married. Explore your options, keep your friendship and see where life takes you.
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