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What's tooo far?
OK... so...I've been going out with my boyfriend for like 4 and a half months. Weve liked eachother for about a year and a half though. Anyways, to get to the point, I want to know whats "too far"... as far as emotional abuse and whatnot. He has a lot of anger problems, but I definently see why, and dont necessarily blame him. His mom is mean and likes to scream and swear and make her kids (including my bf) feel like complete and total shit. My boyfriend also fools around with his little brothers, and wrestles with them. I think that he treats me like one of his brothers. He is rough with me, and has given me a few bruises. Of course when he realizes he's given me these bruises, he apologizes and feels bad.. but thats beside the point. Also, as much as I love him, when he gets angry, he takes his anger out on me!! I really hate it and feel like screamign back at him when he takes his anger out on me.. but instead, I always take getting yelled at and try to stay calm and help him become calm. Im getting kind of sick of it, but I love him, in fact, I think im in love with him, and I feel like i should be there for him, since his mom doesnt really care.
Just wondering, but am i wrong for thinking that he is semi- abusal?
Like, sometimes i have soo much on my mind.. and my day is just going soo bad.. and it seems like i shouldnt have to deal with his crap TOO.
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Please help!
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ok well first off my boyfriend used to be the same way because he had anger problems too and now he's changed and doesnt act that way anymore so hopefully this will help. i think your bf is acting this way because it's the way he was raised...like thats all he knows how to act because he grew up seeing his mom act that way. you need to sit him down and tell him that you two have to talk and you don't want him getting mad. tell him basicly everything you've said on here like he's too rough with you sometimes and really hurts your feelings by yelling at you, and explain to him that you love him but that if he keeps acting the way he is then you may have leave him. tell him he's becoming his mom and that you've seen the way she treats him and you don't want him to be that way. it is semi-abusive but it can get alot worse if he doesn't quit now. if he doesn't change his ways then you need to break up with him.. at least until he gets better because 1 thing leads to another and before you know it he could be physically abusing you. and you're right you shouldnt have to deal with his crap too!! you could also try convincing him to go to an anger management group..but with a lot of guys..that doesn't work.(including mine.) so i hope i helped you and please take my advice! take care.
<3 jerica
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You need to go to a docter,get a lawyer, and a restraining order cause that is physical abuse.If your 14,your just at the point where your looking for the real thing.I'm sure you'll find it soon enough but it can't be with this guy,especially if he abuses like he is.
P.S.That's not semi-abusive.It's completley abusive.
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You may not like this answer, but I think you should sit him down and tell him everything you just wrote. Perhaps if he hears this and realizes exactly how everything is, he might get a better handle on his anger.
About the abuse, I would say that any time that you feel like your safety is threatened, and you fear for your life/wellbeing, that's too far. If it gets to this point, tell him, if he ignores it, tell somebody who can help you.
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