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Whaaaaaaaat?
Okay, first of all, 18f. Second, some background - there's this guy who had been confusing me, teasing me, making fun of me, and being kind of a (good-natured) asshole to me for about two months. Somewhere along the way, I developed a crush on him...weird, I know. He's different, though. Guys aren't usually able to confuse me like he did. He's intelligent and interesting. That's like, exactly what I need in a guy.
Thing is, he kissed me the other day, and completely gave away the fact that he liked me the night before when we were hanging out...so I didn't exactly push him away.
So I like him, he likes me. That's a big problem for me. I got out of a fairly long term thing in like mid-October, and pretty much decided single was the way to go for me. I've always been kind of a loner and I've felt trapped in relationships before. I didn't like that feeling. I'm almost afraid to end up in anything complicated like a relationship with him 'cause - for one thing - I dont want to lose the friendship if it ends badly. I don't want to feel stuck, or tied down right now, at all. That's totally not what I need.
However, it's a mutual crush. I mean, what better grounds for a relationship?
I just don't know what to do, because I want to be with him but I'm afraid of that trapped feeling, and all that. I don't want to go back on my word to myself (I said I'd stay out of relationships for a long time because I was sick of the complexities and the confusion and drama they always ensue), but if that's the case, why do I want to be with him?
Argh.
My first instinct is to run away from my feelings/from him, but consciously I don't want to do that. AHH. I guess I wanna know what you guys think I should do.
Please lay off the chatspeak/all-caps. Both of those are extremely obnoxious. If I have to read your answer more than once to understand it, you're not getting a five.
Thanks =)
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I hate to be the bad guy (Reading every one elses posts.) But I think I should take the time to point out the other side of the issue.
I too have the issue of: <i>"I just don't know what to do, because I want to be with him but I'm afraid of that trapped feeling"</i> and a relationship just makes the feeling worse (I cant say it will for every one or every relationship beacuse I know that I would be ok if I were some one I knew for a long time)
However~
I am a risk take and If you truely believe this will work out (Or you think it will and could tell yourself that you <i>want</i> to work out that bad I think you should go for it.
Theres both sides of the issue..... if you need some one to talk to about it any more you can IM me at Devoidxandroid.... Just tell me your the person who made this post.
-Brendan
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i say you should go for it. just talk to him first about how you feel. if he doesn't know already, let him know how you feel about him, but also about your fears. why let a potentially good thing go?
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We all hate that feeling, and I'm sure most of us have felt it at some point, but unfortunately, the only way to completely avoid feelings like that is not to date. I would say that since you both like each other, you should take a chance. However, it would be a good idea to give it a little bit of time first, and take things slow. It's possible that this relationship will turn out bad, but the chance is worth it if the relationship is good. And about losing the friendship if it doesn't work out, an intelligent man won't push you out of his life if you're still being the same person you were before.
Hope I helped.
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Haha..that last bit made me laugh. I'm glad another advocate of proper grammar exists on this web site!:)
I think you should go for it, but try to take things slow. If you want to avoid complications- you need to be up front with him from the get go. Explain all of what you said here to him so that he is aware of what is going on with you and can understand you better.
I know some people say it's better to be single after a long term relationship, but why let some past dramas hold you back from something potentially good? Though all relationships get a little stressful sometimes, it's not fair to automatically assume that the situation with this guy will turn out like the last. Give it a chance, or you'll regret it and always wonder what it would have been like if you had dated him.
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