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taking on drama or being a good friend?
Dear lady that likes eggs that taste like chicken,
I have a friend who recently found out she's pregnant with her bf's baby, who she also lives with. The pregnancy is an accident but she has decided to keep the child and not abort. She has a college degree and is working a job that pays bills but is by no means a career. Her babies daddy(bf) works as a cook at a restraurant and also does some hustling at times, parties a lot, stays out late, basically is a f08king loser, ok. My pregnant friend is very upset b/c she has asked him to stop but of course he actions speak differently. She expressed to me that she wants to just leave but can't afford to live on her own. I have an extra room in my apartment that I'm looking to rent right now but I'm reluctant to offer it to her because I don't want all the drama that her bf would bring around. It would be good to have a roommate b/c living on your own SUCKs in my opinion and it helps with bills. I consider her a good friend but not like a best friend. Should I help her out? If so, how?
Thanks
hustler hatin friend
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Dear Hustler Hatin Friend,
It sounds to me like she should get rid of him anyway. If she were not pregnant my advice to her would be get rid of him.
She is pregnant however, and this makes the situation a little more difficult.
You know her, I do not. You can gauge how strong her desire is to leave him. If you believe that she is truly serious and willing to take a stand and not go back to him, then you should probably consider letting her say with you.
If you think that she might decide a month or two down the road that she wants him back and to be a father to his child as a family (pfft...good luck getting that if he is how he sounds) then maybe she should try staying with family. That is, if there is family who would allow this and be supportive.
You can help her out in more ways than opening up your home. You, if you have the time, can go with her to doctors appointments, and help her pick out books, colors, names, etc. Maybe if she has a good support system she will realize that she doesn't need that tool at all. That may make her more likely to not go back to him.
What you need to consider is if this would also be good for you. Does she have a job that she can pay half of all the bills and still be able to find money for the baby? Being pregnant isn't cheap yo. If she does, it would probably be ok. Again, you would know better than I if she is responsible or not.
If it were me, I would probably let my friend move in, conditions withstanding. I would make it clear that her moving in means a commitment to not going back to him and bringing drama into my house. I would let her know that if it starts, I will ask her to go (it is my house and if there is drama, it will be of my own creation). Harsh, maybe, but...
you are helping her, of your own kindness and concern. There is no reason for her to end up putting you out or in danger over this "fo8king loser".
Do what you can to help her.
This is kind of funny...because as I was reading this I was wondering who sent this to me. I once dated a cook at a resturant who dealt drugs, partied constantly, stayed out late, and I never knew what was up with him. Out of my own experience, even with her being pregnant, I would say she is soooo much better off on her own.
Hope I helped,
Lady who likes eggs that taste like chicken.
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