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Hey Advicenators! (;
I usually hate giving advice to questions like these, but I really need to know if what I'm doing is right. Basically, I have a boyfriend, and we've been dating for a month and a couple days. I really really like him a lot. He's been my best friend since I've moved here to Texas, and we just thought we should start being boyfriend / girlfriend. His name is Kevin.
Back in Pennsylvania, I had this best friend called Charles. We had been best friends since 2nd grade. But, we became REALLY close before I left PA because we knew that it'd be super heartbreaking for the both of us, since we wouldn't be together anymore.
I was completely sad because I knew that Charles didn't believe in long distance relationships. I knew I'd have to wait for him.
But then he found a girlfriend like a month after I left. I don't know her but I know that he has a girl. I was so pissed off about this because I thought he was "in love" with me. But obviously not. Then I met Kevin, like 2 months after I moved here.
Somehow he found out that I'm making Kevin a gift for Xmas, "100 reasons why I like you.." lol i'm pretty sure everyone knows about that. Then tonight, Charles IMed me and said, "Tell me 100 reasons why you love me.." & I'm like I'm not going to do that because it's unfair to Kevin, even if he never finds out about this conversation, I still think it's unfair to talk about US behind his back. He shouldn't even feel that way anyways because he has a girlfriend, right? Now he said he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. And he's never said that to me before.
I'm not going to be upset about this, because it isn't my fault, right? I just need other peoples' perspectives on this.
Thanks for any help.
NaImEE ♥
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why should it be your fault?i mean you haven't done anything...charles is jealous and has been since yoy moved far away...so he found a girlfriend to piss you off and try to make you come back.
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You did do the right thing and I really admire your willpower and Kevin should be really happy he has a great girlfriend. My guess is that Charles is just upset because deep down a lot of people don't like to think their first love (or second or third, etc) is ever really over them. He in this case wants to have his cake and eat it too. Its not that he's a bad guy. I'm sure he's not, he just wanted to hear that you are still crazy for him, for his ego, because he feels the same way, for a million different reasons, and you didn't. I'm very impressed.
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You did the right thing & no, it's not your fault. It sounds like he's jealous of what you have with Kevin. What he had with the girl after you left was probably to console himself, but he shouldn't have given off the impression that he had moved on if he hadn't. It's not your fault that you've moved on & found another great guy. It's great that you didn't try to resurrect your old feelings for Charles even if it would have been between the two of you.
The next time you talk to Charles, let him know that it's not that you don't care about him anymore, & you still want to have a relationship-- but this time, just friends & not the way you used to. Your situation (moving) was out of your hands, & he should be happy for you that you were able to find someone who makes you happy.
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He is jealous. He probably still likes you but has a girlfriend to try to get you off of his mind. He is just mad because you chose Kevin over him. It's not your faul, don't let it get to you.
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I dont think it is your fault. Long distance relationships are hard. They only really work if you are completely dedicated to make it work. You did the right thing by not telling 100 reasons why you love him b/c even though it would be a secret could you really go on knowing you said that and stillbe with kevin without acting weird knowing you did something that could hurt him. You made the right choice and Charles has a g/f so what does he care. I think if charles was really your friend he wouldnt have said that. I think you have a great thing with Kevin and you shouldnt let it go if you truly want to keep it.
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You deffinitly do not at all need to be upset about this. He should understand that you have moved on, and that he shouldnt be saying that stuff because he has a girlfriend. Yes, I saw your 100 reasons why I like you thing lol, i would have answered it, but i didnt have any ideas. So yea, dont let this bring you down at all. He'll probably end up talking to you again
anyways. lol. Good Luck
Brina♥
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It's not your fault. I think your friend Charles is jealous, I think the reason why he moved on is because he he realizes there's no -you guys- and he just can't have you. The reason why I think he's jealous is because he can't face the face that yall can't be together. I'd suggest if Charles is going to act that way towards you don't bother talking to him he'll come back when he's ready and make sure he apologizes if he does come back as well. But yeah stay with your boyfriend be happy with HIM no one else. Hope I helped..
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