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My ex-boyfriend and i have officially been a 'couple' for four months, although people considered us 'together' for about eight months. Two weeks ago, I had called him to say good morning and he told me he thought we should "take a break". I knew we were having problems, but I thought that we were stronger than that, and it was just so sudden. I was extremely hurt, it was completely unexpected.. only a week before his exact words to me were "if somehow this doesnt work out..im never leaving, ill wait for you to come back. i cant see myself without you. i know that sounds very pathetic and stuff, but i know im never going to be happy without you." How could someone who shared something so special change their mind so fast? My friends told me he'd regret it and come back, that he was just confused since his parents had been having problems. One week after the break up, and after not hearing from him... he called. Told me he had been in rehab (I later learned it was for drug related issues.) I found out that he had been doing serious drugs for a while and had not told me about any of it (he knows I am fully against anything of the sort). He said he was sorry, and that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and that it was just a bad decision. He said he wanted to talk to me, and I wanted to see him too. Since that day he called me, we've talked online but only very short conversations. I know he's been drinking with friends (hes 17), and making everything a lot worse for himself. I was/am truly the only friend he has that really genuinly cares about his well-being. I am the only one he can talk to that will listen, and he knows this, and has even told me this himself. But the past few days, he's been acting ... completely different. Saying insulting things, and being completely rude. I know he still has feelings for me, and I know he knows he needs me again... and I still want him too. I have never felt so hurt in my entire life, and I've been through a lot. He won't talk or see me, and i think its because hes scared... I dont know what to say or do anymore. I know i should probably get over everything, and try to move on... but I just do not know what to do. Sorry this is so long, but Im desperate for help.. I've lost a lot in the past couple months, and I need him.
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I know exactly what you mean. I wasn't in a relationship w/ him, but one of my best friends used to deal with stuff like this. Drugs, drinking, and he felt he had to hide it from the world to protect me and the ppl that cared most about him, when it was him who needed the protection and help. Time heals. He is in the Army now and is one of the strongest people I know. Your friend/ b/f just constantly needs to be reminded that through good times and bad, you will always be there for him. Whether you are in a relationship w/ him or not, you need to keep encouraging him and believing in him, even if he doesn't believe in himself. Expect him to push you away, but don't let that keep you from encouraging him. He may not act like he needs you, but it seems that he REALLY does. I don't know if you believe in God, but He works miracles. I know what you are going through...don't give up. Keep your head up, and be strong for him, it will NOT be easy at times, but do it. I bet things will look up eventually, it took my friend a few years, but he's amazing now. Good luck and I hope I helped.
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First i want to say is that i am sorry and i feel for you and Seond i no its hard but try to move on but let him no that you really care for him and that you will still always be there for him but he needs to understand that how he is treating you is making you upset and you need to tell him your hurt
so the best advice i can give to you is just try to move on && let him no your there for him anyways
**wish you luck**
hugs&&prayers
julia
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Wow.. First of all I'm sorry hun.
It always hurts when you lose someone you are very close to especially when it is to dugs or alcohol.
The number one thing you nust keep in mind is that he cannot be helped unless he really wants it. I know this really sucks and all you want to do is help, but its the way it is.
If he has always been really good with you fo the most part and now that he is using more and more i would assume that those hurtful words and actions are coming straight from the addict, not the loving person inside.
My best advice would be to try your hardest to move on and be sure to let him know that you love and care for him and that you will be there for him when he wants the help.
then, just move on and wait for him to take the help. And once he does, you jump to his side and be there to support him in his recovery.
Thats about all I have for now hun.
Best of luck.
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well lil honey.
its a lot to deal with. and mostly for him.
but still thats not your fault. i know your probaly the only thing "good" in his life, but still u can only take so much. if he said that he doesnt wann be with you. then maybe he said it becuase he really cares about because he knows the things he is doing are wrong. i know its really hard to see someone you care about not try to better them selves. its like thier selling them selves short. but theres only so much you can do.
you can't help those that dont want to be helped.
and truly honey think in your self. to be in a relantionship like that is unhealthy. i know because i had a boyfriend who was in a game.
so its hard at times because they think they know everything and you know that thier getting themselves into no good.
bottom line:
try to move on. you will always remember him, but it's not good for you either.
always and forever
Daniella
i hope i helped.
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