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I don't care if this is too long. I have problems. DEAL.
I am in ninth grade. I am doing ok in school, like A's, B's and a few C's, but my parents aren't happy. At all. They think that a B- is, and I quote, "terrible". Well, my mom mostly. She thinks that if I have time to do all the internet activity I do, then I sooo have time to do schoolwork. Like, schoolwork is the most important and excited thing in the world, right?? UGH. She was giving me THE hardest time about it. Saying that some of the A-'s---A-'s!!!---were alllmost B+, and is that good enough for my mom?? Nooooo. Just cuz she didn't finish college and only went to Santa Monica and Stern, and wants me and my sisters to be perfect students. She seriously said that I should've done the extra credit in one of my history classes b/c I should if I have the opportunity, even though I'm getting an A in that class. PLEASE. I mean, I'd much rather be having fun. My motto is to live my life to the fullest, while succeeding as well as you can. I DO NOT believe that school comes first, and no matter how hard I try to tell my mom this, she says that it's life, and I have to deal. I even reasoned---didn't argue, I wasn't nasty, I REASONED---w/ her, but her view of an opinion is "giving her lip". Just b/c I am her kid, I have to agree w/ her outlooks. And my sister is NOT helping. She does well in school, and when I even BOTHER to complain about my mom to her, she agrees w/ her. And my mom doesn't even really appreciate the things I already CAN do. Like play guitar, figure things out nice and fast w/o instruction manuals, juggle, write stories and songs, and other stuff. She just cares that I am not getting A+'s ("We feel that you are capable, and you're not showing us that"---well, maybe I'm NOT capable after all!!!), not getting together w/ every person in my class (they all hang out w/ boys!! which i am not allowed to do!!), and not setting my goal as getting A+'s and going to an IV league school. IT. DRIVES. ME. INSANE. There is this rocker chick inside me wanting to come out, but of course, I am forced to be an almost-prep b/c the only clean music is pop. Thank G-D that Jesse McCartney is good (please don't comment on that). Well, I have to go, but PLEEASE advise and don't skip, and don't say to talk. It doesn't work. (I WILL RATE 5 IF U CAN ANSWER THIS AT ALL.)
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
I think that you're going through this crappy phase where we all do where you start to look and feel and act like an adult, and your parents still treat you as if you're in diapers. I've been there, so I'm not going to criticize because I was angry and frustrated the way you are when I was your age.
I just wanted to give you a different perspective as to why your mom might be acting so overbearing. Yes, it is a possibility that she's simply being evil and controlling. But it sounds more like she's trying to live vicariously through you. I think when you become a parent you want more than anything to see your children exceed your own accomplishments and live to their fullest potential of what you can provide for them. Maybe your mom wishes she had done more. My parents busted my chops all the time about my grades and later, I realized that if I had worked a little harder then, I would have gotten into a better school and it could have made a big difference.
The fact of the matter is, you're sort of old enough now that you are who you are. Your mom is still trying to hold onto the time when you hung on her every word, and she could really dictate who you were by telilng you what you could and couldn't do. She needs to acknowledge that you might not be a straight A student. She needs to acknowledge that you're not going to be her, or your sister, or anyone else she compares you to. You're not a poor student by any standards. You two need to find a way that you can acknowledge the strengths and talents you DO possess, instead of tearing you down for above average grades.
If she doesn't come around, eventually you'll blow her off and realize the only person you have to live up to is yourself. I suggest trying to find some sort of common ground as this is the stuff that akward holiday gatherings are made of.
Good Luck!
Anne Nonimous
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I completely understand this feeling, however you cant let yourself be angry about it.
Say to your mum at a quiet time that you think they put too much pressure on you and that you don't think its fair. Avoid saying things like 'School isnt the most important thing' because, to be perfectly honest, especialy if you are in an important year, School should be one of the most important things to you because there will be loads more time for socialising at other times but theres only going to be one shot at your education. And Im not saying that you shouldnt have a social life, just have one in moderation. Show your parents you are being responsible but let them know that if you really do think you dont have the ability, you dont.
Take care xx
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OMG we are like the same!lol I am in grade nine and my parents are the same way...I think my marks are could normally i have mostly a's on my report cards and if i have a b (mainly in frnech i do french based courses[french immersion])and they get pissed becasue im on msn a lot judt dont ccare when they start to get reel bad try not to let them know youre on the computer and make them think youre doing work...although you should do work and extra redit shit expissally if you wanna get into colage but thats what high school os for
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