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Boyfriend.
15/sophmore/female.
I have been with my boyfriend since feb. 2nd 2004. yes, 2004, not a typo. He has always gotten, uneasy (i guess thats the word) when i talk to or hang out with other guys. Me and my boyfriend go to different schools. Well I talk to this guy from my summer job, and he is 21, and in college. My boyfriend is 17, and i am 15. And my boyfriend is on drumline, and so I am so used to him not getting home until 6:00. I get home around 3:30. well, he doesnt have drumline anymore, so he was home today. and i didnt call him. so when I did, he didnt sounded, not mad, but upset, i cant describe it. and he asked if i was online, and i said yes. and then he asked if i was "talking to that twenty year old " and i said yes, and i was talking to Elise too. And he said "I'll call you later" and i asked why. and then i cant remeber the rest, it was really short, and then he hung up. and didnt say bye. so i called back, no answer. i called his cell, no answer, so i texted him saying that im sorry and that he cant get mad at me for talking with my friends and that i love him (being my boyfriend) in a way that i could never love anyone else.
My boyfriend and i do have silly fights alot. but this one is stupid, i mean, this guy is 6years older than me. I would never date him. He is a good friend,sorta like a brother to me.
did i do anything wrong?
My boyfriend and i just got over the whole "cant hug the opposite sex" thing. he used to get upset when i did that. keep that in mind.
What should I do? What should i say? should i call my boyfriend? text him?
any advice is welcome.
if you need more info, just ask for it. thank you.
-Kelsey-
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He's pretty insecure and is scared of losing you to this other guy which is I guess understandable because I bet he thinks you are pretty great and most guys would like you. That said, his reaction is a bit extreme. Its one thing to be a little jealous, but this boarders on possessive. Send him an email telling him how you feel and that you would never date that guy and that you care about him. Send him and then let him get back to you. He needs to cool down a bit and try and get some perspective. Try and make some plans just the two of you this weekend and show him that you only have eyes for him. If this blows up into something bigger than he has maybe some other issues that you guys need to deal with, but i think this will blow over. good luck and keep me posted.
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I'd say your boyfriend is really afraid of losing you. It's a guy thing, I know because my boyfriend is the same way. You definitley didnt do anything wrong, unless you said it cocky. I know its a girl's nature to make a guy jealous to test them, haha. But I'm not saying you are. If he's really truly upset, I think you should go out and buy him a Hallmark card that expresses how you feel, and then write a little note. I hope he's not being immature about it and holding a grudge. There's only so much you can do to apologize. He might have a selfesteem issue and his feelings might be hurt easily. Instead of being mad, look at it as he feels competition with the 20-year-old guy. Make sure you reassure him that he's the only one for you! Good luck <3
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I THINK YOU SHOULD SIT DOWN WITH HIM AND TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.IF HE REALLY LIKES YOU HE WILL GET OVER THE FACT THAT YOUR HANGING OR TALKING AROUND WITH ANOTHER GUY.JUST TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU REALLY LOVE HIM AND HE WILL UNGERSTAND.NO MATTER WUT LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.IF HE GETS EVEN MORE UPSET YOU SHOULD REALLY END THIS RELATIONSHIP.EVEN IF YOU DO LOVE HIM.YOUR STRONG ENOUGHTO HANDLE EVERYTHING.SO JUST KEEP ON WORKING THINGS OUT AND TIME WELL MAKE EVERYTHING RIGHT.
i really hope i helped Littleshorteee48
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You have a territorial boyfriend, that's all there is to it. I'm this same way, so I think I can tell you that it's gonna be really difficult for him to stop being jealous, but he should be able to supress it enough that it's not a problem in the relationship.
It doesn't matter if you consider him like your brother, that doesn't remove him from being a threat to your boyfriend. Your boyfriend probably knows that he's been friends with a girl before who considered him to be 'like her brother', but he liked her anyway. He just sees it as you two are really close and that makes him a problem.
What this really comes down to is if he can trust you. If he can't trust you, he's never going to be able to handle you having guy friends or even being around other guys when he's not there. If he can trust you though, then he should be able to let you go off and do your own thing, even if you're going to be around that guy, and not worry much.
You did not do a single thing wrong. You should be allowed to have close guy friends, you should be allowed to hug guys, you should be allowed to talk to guys. If he's jealous about that, then he just needs to tough it out.
About what you can do about it, there's not too terribly much. Just stress to him how much he means to you, that you're more attracted to him and you enjoy his company more than any other guys. You just have to make him realize that you would never cheat on him or leave him for some other guy. You just need to talk to him, tell him how you really feel, get him to tell you how he really feels, and the two of you work it out together.
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Okay. I know that your first impulse is to keep on calling and calling and texting and texting until he answers. Don't do that sweetie. You should text him, say "You need to realize that I love you, and only you".
nothing else. and send it. If he responds, so be it. You don't have to explain to him what you explained to me. You have a right to talk to whomever you choose. If he keeps on with this controlling manner, then Im sorry to say, even though you've been going out so long, it's only going to get worse. He may get physical.
I know that you're thinking "oh he would never hurt me" but honey, some guys can get extremley jealous. If this persistent act of jealousy keeps up, you need to say goodbye.
Good luck honey.
PS. I've been in this exact situation before, so I know how to approach it. Send me a message if you need anymore help darling .
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