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My realtionship is blowing up in my face.. help me plz>>>
I have been with my boyfriend for a year we've even planned on getting married, I'm crazy over him but i always find myself jealous over other girls exspecailly his ex. He wasn't a virgin when i met him and i was, so you know where the story goes from there. I cant help but think that he still loves her sometimes. I mean i dont believe he talks to her but i'm just so afraid of losing him to her. On top of that fear, latley i find myself argueing with him over stupid things, half of the time i dont even remember why the arguements started... I even told him i hated him( i was mad and didnt mean it) I think i'm pushing him away or going crazy... whats my problem?? How do i fix it?? Wht do i do about the ex?? The Jealousy?? plz help me i cant lose him........~luvlee~
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Jealousy comes from insecurity. It sounds like you are having difficulty with his past loves. Since you are feeling insecure about your relationship you can try getting an alarm system. You can attach to him and whenever he stares or thinks an impure thought about another girl he will get zapped. Then you will be notified by email. I do not suggest doing this however because A. Its inhumane and B. He's not going to like being shocked like a Rhysus Monkey. So the only thing you can do is tell him about your fears and let him know that while you are picking small and unimportant fights, it is just because you do not want to lose him (Now understand that the last sentence did not make sense. Why would you pick fights if you did not want to lose someone?) Hopefully, if he is a good boyfriend, he can reassure you that he is with and committed to you. You cannot go around thinking that he is getting back with his ex. That only make both of you miserable. You are going to have trust him and learn to be ok with that. Oh and they actually don't make alarm systems for human relationships. But ooh the possiblities...
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Most of this seems to be about issues that you will need to work out on your own. Honestly... what can you do to control him... the answer is nothing. If you try to than you can be sure that you will lose him. You have to realize that all these things that you are worried about happening are things that can not be controlled. If a guy is gonna cheat, he will, and your constantly getting mad at him for things will only make the possibility of him cheating greater.
Did you know that he wasnt a virgin when you first started seeing him? If you did then you knew what you were getting into. Just try to get past it... we all have a past. You can be the future if you will stop obsessing about the past. Just be the person he fell in love with and everything should work out for the best.
Hope it all works out,
Eva J
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Honestly, you just need to talk to him, get everything out in the open, if you don't then you will keep having stupid fights, because you are letting it build up inside. Jealousy is just part of life, you can't not be jealous, its nature. If you don't tell him what you are feeling then the relationship is doomes and you and I both don't wan that especially if this is poten tially the guy you are going to marry, you need to be sure about his feelings for you. By the way if he doesn't talk to her, then I don't think he still loves her, i could be wrong, but if he still loved her then he would trying to get in contact with her so he could talk to her or be near her. And you never kow he might still like her but he could just want to be friends with her and you could be friends too, you never know. I know eerything will work out for you, best of luck.
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