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Family Problems
You all probably deal with the same thing I am about to say. But here is the thing my mom and I get along but most of the time we are arguing about stupid things like chores I do around the house and stuff like that she doesn't like how I do so she complains constatly no matte what I do it's never enough for her. My dad and I sometimes get into arguements to because whenever I am arguing with my mom he always plans it on me even if I didn't start it. Most of the time we don't get along either. They also get into arguements too and try to get us involve if we don't they get mad but if you do they always want us to pick sides and that's why we don't want to get involved. Do you have any advice.
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Hey there,
Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time with your family. Most of it is normal stuff but as the other responders said, it is not okay for either parent to put a child in the middle of there dispute. A parents job is to protect and nurture their children and if they aren't giving you what you need, as apparently they are not, I suggest sitting down and writing a letter to each parent. Tell them how you're feeling, and what you need from them to help you be a happier kid.
Sometimes it's easier to write down how you are feeling. It's less intimidating and you can really concentrate on what you want to say and proof read to make sure you got it all in there. Sometimes it's easier for a parent to really hear their child if they can sit down and read how you are feeling and really process it.
Then I think you should talk to them about the letters alone and then hopefully you can sit down and have a little family meeting and discuss it all together.
It's ok for you to say that you've had enough...They need to know and they also need to hear from that you are going to try harder also. You can do it!
Good luck!
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You should start saying to your parents when an arguement is about to start, "Look mom/dad, I don't really want to fight about it, its silly anyway, and it bugs me when we do fight." And they might stop and agree, and if not, just keep saying, "Ok mom/dad, I understand where you are coming from, but lets not yell and scream about it anymore, please, I really try respecting your wishes the best I can and will continue to do so." I'm not sure what you mean by "us" but I think it sounds like your siblings and you, are being forced to choose a side between your parents? If thats the case, or its only you being forced to choose a side, the next time one of your parents talk bad on the other, just say, "mom, I really don't want you talking about dad like that, and I don't want to be forced on a side, I love you and dad both." But, mainly, it sounds like you need to have a talk with your parents about the fighting lately, and let them know how much its bugging you, because thats the only way you could try to get it to stop.
-TheTeenGirl
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Well we all know one thing their trying to suck you into an argument is wrong. Leave the house, go out and tell them "I will no longer be pulled into your arguments and do not use me as a scape goat." Get out after that and spend several hours on your own and come back. Make sure they know it is wrong and behavior you cannot live with. Hun, to be honest here the roles have been reversed. You are the adult in the situation and they are the kids. It is hard for a kid to parent their own parents.
As far as arguements over chores go curb it by actually doing all of them. Once the chores are done there is not much an argument can be made out of. Involving too many people in one argument is stupid. If it starts up just say "I'm not going to be dragged into this" and as always leave the situation. They will get it eventually.
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